Am I being selfish?

[bradenlukemom]

My best friend from college is getting married on May 2nd. I'm a bridesmaid and haven't made it to any of her bridal showers yet, nor have I had a chance to pick up my dress. Well, she has a shower this weekend and I have told her I was coming (it's 4 hours away) and my Mom was supposed to go with me and help keep Luke while Nathan and I went to the shower, she was going to stay in Athens with my brother and let Nathan and I drive to the shower. Well, I have told Sarah I was coming, gotten a gift and been very excited. Last night my Mom called me to tell me she can't come anymore and I'm very upset because it looks like now I can't go. See, my Grandpap came through the surgery great, he's already been moved back to the local hospital and everything. He is there rehabing until he can walk again. Well, he has nurses throughout the week helping him and relieving my Grandmother, but on the weekends he doesn't have a nurse. Friday, Saturday and Sunday my Grandma, Aunt and my Mom are supposed to be spending a night a piece to stay with him. My Mom has Relay for Life Friday night here in town and we were supposed to leave after it was over to head to Athens and then the shower is Saturday night at 6. Well, my Mom told my Grandma she would stay with my Grandpa Saturday night. I just feel like if she would have told them she was supposed to help me out that my Aunt would take a double shift or either my Grandmother one. I am being selfish, huh? It just seems to me that I NEVER can do anything that I want to and that no one ever seems to want to help me. Allen can't go with us because he's going up for the wedding and this weekend he needs to study and we will be tied up all weekend with the shower and out of town and he won't be able to study much going and driving all that way. He has finals the week after the wedding so he's trying to get ahead so that he will be able to make the wedding. Gosh, what if my dress doesn't even fit? What if it needs to be taken in or out? I'm so upset, I could just cry. Allen won't let me go alone, he told me just to wait till the wedding and get everything then. Garr...... Sarah came to everything of mine, no, she wasn't married and didn't have small children, but still..... Everyone keeps telling me she'll understand, but I don't!!! I don't have anyone else to ask to help me, if Allen went this weekend he couldn't make the wedding. My Mom couldn't even swap up and go to the wedding with me, because she and Daddy are going back to Texas the weekend of her wedding! I'm moreso upset because it seems my parents are always busy doing this or that all the time and never want to spend time with my kids or to help me, am I being selfish? You can totally tell me I'm being a brat, I know I probably am, but just had to vent all that! I drop everything and anything for family all the time and it just seems no one ever wants to drop anything for me! Allen's Mom would never go with me, one she wouldn't get paid and two she would never miss her church. Yesterday she told me that she was leaving at 5 on Monday's whether Allen and I were there or not, she was tired of being late for her church meetings and something had to change! She told me she would send Allen's Dad over there to watch the boys until one of us could get home, but that she was leaving at 5 no matter what! :(

[jeng1980]

Apr. 14, 2009 at 10:39 AM

Oh boy!  I so know how you feel.  I have no help from anybody with my kids.  I'm sorry you are going through this.  I have finally just accepted that I do not have any help and to not expect it at all.

[myrtlebeach]

Apr. 14, 2009 at 11:28 AM

Thats a tough one why cant you go by yourself is it the drive??

[charlenelucenda]

Apr. 14, 2009 at 2:59 PM

Oh goodness. Don't get me started on what I think about how Allen's Mom treats you! She makes me so mad and I don't even really know her!  You are NOT being selfish at all. I think you do way too much for other people and get very little in return! I wish your Mom would still go with you and just switch nights staying with your Grandpap. I know that he would understand. Maybe Allen could just go with you. You could drive to Athens and he could study in the car. I know how it feels to not get to do things you want to do, especially like see your out of town friends. I really hope things will work out so you can go.