If there is one thing I can count on it is that changes will come, and when you least expect them. Some are good, some a great, and some I really could live without... but each change teaches me something new, and I grow in it. Right now our family is preparing for some major changes, and thankfully great ones.
Baby number three is due in June, and while I thought that would be enough of a change, it seems that God had another plan up His sleeve. Ever since we left Pittsburgh, we have wanted to go back. I really thought it would be great to move back to my home town with my family and friends, but even as we loaded the moving truck to head from Pittsburgh to Denver, I was full of sorrow. Denver didn't seem like home anymore, Pittsburgh was. I am grateful for that move, even though it was a tough one to make. So many things, good things, have happened as a result, and I have learned a lot from the not so good experiences too. It has been hard to live her at times. I feel disconnected from those people I thought would be here when we moved back. I took on too much at the church we attended, over volunteered for the school, and put myself in positions to be relied on in other relationships, that really was more harm then good for those around me as well as myself. As a result I am left feeling burnt out, and like I have fallen short in all those areas as well as feeling like I have let other people that are important and should have been made more of a priority, down.
In less then two weeks, we will once again load a moving truck, but this time we are heading back East. I am looking forward to going back "home". I hope I don't forget the things that I have learned while I have lived here, the biggest thing is how to use the word "no". I don't need to feel like, just because there is a need, I have to be the one to fill it. I have things I can contribute when we get to Pittsburgh, but being a space holder just to fill a void will not be one of them.
We really didn't plan for this to happen, we planned to stay in Denver for another year or so, get the house sold, and other things in order before we left... but someone offered to buy our home, and all those other details we wanted to get in order just started falling into place without us even lifting a finger to push them along. I am exhausted from all the packing and cleaning, but I feel as though I am coming from a desert into a valley with fresh air to finally breath. It truly is amazing how everything has fallen into place, now if only the boxes would fill up and be loaded onto the truck so easily.