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Modest Changes ~ Wearing Dresses More Often
- Apr 16, 2009 at 3:39 PM
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- Comments (13) Total Views (351) Everyone can see this journal post.
Do
you wear dresses a lot? The girls in this house {my daughter, Arlee
& I} do not. But I, after talking a couple few times with my
Husband, have decided that we should try to do so more often. This is a
big change for us gals who have been wearing pants, capris, jeans, and
shorts for the majority of our whole lives. I have decided this change
needs to be a slow gradual one...but, especially when you are 12, no
matter go slow and gradual changes comes about...it's hard.
I've
asked Arlee quite a few times about wearing dresses all the time, or
even just more often. She's always been against it. Said she just loves
her jeans. Okay, I can understand that especially since that is what
she is used to wearing. Just like me and my comfy Capri's. And, I'm not
one big on changes to my regular routine either.
I've read many
a blogs and articles about Ladies who wear dresses all the time,
sometimes along with their daughters...and it is so intriguing to me.
But, I think the biggest inspiration for me is just been watching the 18 and Counting episodes about the Duggars. Reading about this lifestyle choice is one thing, but being able to see it makes it that much more interesting.
When
I see all the long skirts on all their daughters, what I see being
portrayed is not only femininity, but modesty as well. Defiantly two
things which I would love to be able to teach to and instill in my
daughter, and also bring more of it into my own life as well.
I
tried once before to make the change to wearing only dresses. But, I
believe I tried to change too fast for my own liking. After only a few
days, I was ready to hang up my dresses for good. It just didn't feel
right. So I happily returned my dresses and skirts to the dark corners
of my closet and slipped right back into my comfy capri's...very happy
to be back into my own comfort zone as well! I feel that I made the
mistake of trying to change all at once. I'm one that needs to slowly
get used to something new...not jump in with both feet!
I will
also admit that I am MUCH more excited about this change than Arlee
is...and this is an understatement! I was being a little too
excited last night talking about it, and she got upset.
{Hormones...aren't the lovely! Especially at her age!} Danny and I
practically had to force her to sit down and tell us her thoughts.
After some convincing she just let go. She explained to us that we made
this decision without her. That no one asked her what she thought on
the matter. That she was wanting to be able to express herself the way
she wanted to. WOW...I was thinking...those are some pretty grown up
thoughts she has been having! I was proud of her for finally letting go
and expressing her emotions and feelings on the matter.
She did
have some good points. She was upset because we made the decision
without her. True. We did. We then explained to her that she is only
12, and we are still the parents...and that we will most times make
decisions without her...and that sometimes these decisions will not be
easy for her to accept, but she must trust us that we are only doing
them with her best interest at heart.
She even called me out on
trying to be like the Duggars. I was impressed with her honesty. I
asked her, when she is looking through her Girls Life Magazine and sees a
cute hairdo, and she goes and tries it out on herself, why does she do
this? She blurted out, "Because it's cool." We went on to explain that
we are NOT trying to be just like the Duggars. Just as she is not
trying to be just like the girl in the magazine. But, unlike her, we
are not doing this "because it's cool". That we see their family as an
inspiration. We see SOME of the things that they do, that we would like
to try with our own family to help teach our own set of values.
We went on to share with her the why's
of this decision. I started off by telling her that by being a young
lady it is important for her to learn how to be feminine. To know how
to wear skirts and dresses along with how to hold herself and carry
herself while wearing them. I shared with her, that although she has
always been very conscious of being modest, wearing long dresses and
skirts is also another way to do so. Some may even argue that is is the
best way, due to the fact that jeans and pants show more contours of
your body than long skirts or dresses would. We want to make sure,
especially with her getting a little older, when and if boys are
looking at her that they are SEEING HER. Dressing modestly demands this.
After
our talk with Arlee, Danny talked with me. He was thinking that maybe
she feels singled out since Frost, and the other boys for that matter,
do not have the same changes going on. And, to be honest, I never
really thought about it with the boys! Just like I never thought about
asking my Husband to dress up for me on a certain day either. But,
Danny and I talked and he said that it would be only fair that the boys
must "dress up" as well.
So with today being Thursday, the day I
decided would be good for us to start "dressing up" once a week, I set
Arlee off this morning to put on her dress and fix her hair. I went to
the younger two boys closet and found 2 collared shirts, two under
shirts, and pants. As I was getting them dressed and brushing their
long locks...Frost was off finding his own dress shirt! He chose to do
this all on his own when he saw that everyone else was getting dressed.
After
Arlee and Frost were ready for the day, the three of us were in the
kitchen talking. I had Arlee really look at Frosty's outfit. It was a
yellow undershirt with a dragon on it, and his dress shirt was a very
soft blue material with dragons. He was able to look very respectable
and still express himself at the same time. And that when we are able
to go buy her some new skirts and such, she will be able to do the same
thing. Right now she is sort of stuck with the one dress and one skirt
that she has right now. She seemed ok with this idea...are we maybe
making progress with her accepting this change?
Comments:
i'm a skirt girl...always have been always will...i wear them about 3-5 days a week...
i too love the duggars values...but i hate to say it...i'm a tank top lover w/skirts over here...I LIVE IN TEXAS AND SOMETIMES SHOWING MY ARMS IN 108' WEATHER IS MORE LIKE IT! HAHAHAHA
I have been thinking of this for my daughter and I for awhile now. I am shocked at how sexy and revealing little girls clothes are now! My daughter is only 3, I want to teach her modesty at a young age. Love your blog :-)
Good on you - for both determining to make slow change (b/c that's important) and for listening to Arlee and her qualms - the fact that you listened to her and gave credance to her concerns is so paramount. When I would bring up perfectly valid points in opposition to my parents, they made me feel that those reasons were never good enough for their high logic...Yeah - there's still some bad blood there.
I remember when you were thinking about changing to wearing dresses all the time... and since then I have also thought about it on and off. Like one of the other replies... I blame my wardrobe for my lack of completely changing over. I also blamed the weather since with -20 below weather that comes here during almost 6 mths of the year can be really hard on the ol' legs! I did learn that a lot of women that do wear dresses wear leggings under them. Might be a thought for Arlee... she's still got the feeling of pants, but with a cute dress or skirt over them. Something to think about!
Scott and I are talking about Cyloh and I wearing dresses/skirts full-time, but we are also waiting on the finances to settle so we will be able to purchase enough for us to wear during the week.
cmy3kids made a point that reminded me - One look I kind of liked is a shorter flared skirt over the top of capris length leggings. That might be a good way to transition.
Hmmm, the skirt over leggins is a WONDERFUL idea! I think she would really go for that one!
Thank you ALL!!! You all ROCK!!!!
I wear skirts/dresses everyday no matter what the weather or what I am doing but I voted other because, if you see me in pants it's because I'm behind on laundry lol
I only recently started wearing skirts about once a week, just in the last year or so. I just felt like wearing them. And they're fun to make, too! Clare went from being a tomboy last summer to mainly dresses or skirts when she started school this year.
I changed it up slowly for myself too, as I never really liked wearing skirts or dresses. I still prefer jeans or pants when I clean, but yesteray I washed the living room floor in a skirt - and I don't have a mop! - and it feels more normal/natural now. I was never made to wear a dress or skirt when I was younger unless we were headed to church. I do like skirts in the winter now, but I wear long ankle-length skirts and I make sure they're warm fabrics *or* I will wear leg warmers underneath :-)
Does Arlee have an interest in sewing? Strip skirts are *very* easy to make, and there are a million fabrics to choose from! Maybe she can have some input and a hand in the decision from that angle. Making strip skirts for myself and Clare is like eating those chips - you can't stop at just one LOL
I just wanted to comment because this is very interesting to me. my mother stopped wearing pants about 20 yrs ago. I almost don't remember her ever wearing pants or shorts (except for exercise clothes, she does marathons and triathalons). She even wears a head covering. Most of this came from a friend of hers, she and her family became Mennonite. After a discussion about the style and the reasons behind it, my mother decided to adopt a similar style. When I was a teenager it was a little embarassing, but I lived. She never asked me to adopt the same style, but I did have to dress modestly, I went to a private school with a dress code. To this day I am uncomfortable in shorts, skirts that aren't to the knee, and sleeveless shirts.
I applaud your decision to teach your children modesty and appropriate dress. I think that it is something that is sorely lacking in our lives these days. I think I might have to give this a try myself.
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My 6 yr old daughter would live in dresses, even in the dead of winter, if I let her.
I voted "other" because I DO wear them, but not as often or regularly as I'd like. I blame my wardrobe. LOL
I think modesty is a very good thing to strive for, and an excellent thing to teach your daughter. Good Luck!!
- p2of9
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