Why do women have babies if their just a big inconvenience?

[kate_jocelyn]

I'm just so testy tonight, and looking through different posts here on cafemom right now is really getting me irritated. I just feel like a woman should consider a few things before committing to motherhood, like whether ot not she is ready to become selfless and do everything she can to put her child's needs before her own needs AND wants. Why would you have a baby if you dont have the incentive to give them what's best? And then if you dont or cant give them what's best for example in the case of what you feed them, are you really too busy to sit with your baby for ten minutes while they eat a bottle? *Oh no! Ten minutes of quality cuddling time with my baby when there's diry dishes in the sink?! I'll just prop the bottle instead, and... at what age did your baby hold their own bottle?* Right..... And then why do mothers feel the need to let their poor babies cry it out all by themselves, when all it takes is a few minutes to rock, cuddle or nurse them to sleep. I read SO many posts about moms who's babies are "too clingy", and what can they do to break them of wanting to be held all the time? OMG. Why did you even have a baby if you dont have time to hold them? I definitely understand that at times its impossible to hold your baby if something NEEDS to be done, but is it so hard to buy a sling?

So I'm just wondering.. if your not going to breastfeed(I understand some women truly CANT, but i'm referring to the mothers who dont because of silly reasons/excuses), and then prop your baby's bottle, never hold them, and let them cry it out(dont we sign up for not sleeping much when we agree to become mothers?), why did you become a mother in the first place? I'm honestly not trying to come off as offensive, but I'm so sick of reading about these types of things. My heart breaks every day for the babies who are left alone, helpless and scared to cry because their mothers dont feel the need to cuddle them or comfort them. Since when are love and affection not needs? There are studies to show this isnt healthy, but why do women constantly choose to ignore that, simply because of what's convenient for them?

HELLO?! Babies and children arent about convenience, and for heaven's sake it's not like they asked you to concieve them. How can a baby learn to be independent without first learning they have someone to depend on?

Sorry... I'm ranting, done.

[autiemommy2]

Apr. 19, 2009 at 3:29 AM

I agree with you!!

I never wanted kids b/c I didn't think I would be any good at it, but now I love my children to pieces!! I love to cuddle with them... and I'll look for almost any excuse to not do laundry or dishes if it means I get to hang out on the floor with my awesome boys!

Today was a good example: I should have been folding laundry, but instead, I rocked my youngest to sleep for his nap (instead of just laying him down) and then I colored for 30 minutes with my oldest. It was great!

[lovemybabygirl7]

Apr. 19, 2009 at 10:45 AM

I so agree with most of what you wrote except the cry it out.  I did that with my daughter because I was desparate.  I hadn't slept and was going insane.  We were living with my parents and me being young I listened to what my mom said about letting her cry it out.  I never let her get to the point of screaming.  Before I started that I had to rock her to sleep for naps and bed, and she never slept more than 30-45 at a time.  I was going insane, probably suffering from PPD and I didn't know what else to do.  Would I use cry it out again with future children?  I don't really know.  I know that it worked for me and my daughter.  I still feel like we bonded, we would snuggle and cuddle while I was nursing her, I just know that for sleep this is what worked.  My next child will be born into different circumstances (being married one of them) and hopefully will do a lot of things different.  But we live and we learn as parents and figure out what works for us and our babies.

[jus1jess]

Apr. 19, 2009 at 11:55 AM

OMG I totally agree. It makes no sense to have a kid then leave it on the floor with a bottle or crying in a crib and complaining about it. I really believe that if you aren't going to try your hardest, you shouldn't have kids. None of this "well at least my kid's not starving or being beaten" bullsh*t. Your job as a parent is much more than that.

[catholicmamamia]

Apr. 20, 2009 at 9:20 PM

Rant away..I agree with you.
CafeMom can get pretty depressing sometimes, what with all the ff/cio talk. :o(

[MelanieLouise]

Apr. 24, 2009 at 5:11 PM

So true. People see their neices and nephews and think "Aww I want one of those." It's so different, and once the novelty of the new baby wears off, they want to get back to their life. Too bad it doesn't work like that! My kids are my life, and they'll be that way forever!

[Cindy07]

Jul. 2, 2009 at 1:25 PM

YOU HAVE SAID IT ALL!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!! WOMAN THAT HAVE A FIT ABOUT IT OTHERWIZE JUST DONT WANT TO ACCEPT THEY ARE WRONG AND JUST TAKE EASY WAY OUT..... AS A MOTHER OF TWO MY 1ST PRIORITY ARE MY KIDS,,THATS MY JOB THE MIN I KNEW I WAS PREGNANT..... TAKING CARE OF MY SELF WHILE PREGNANT AND AFTER GIVING BIRTH DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FOR THE WELL BEING OF MY BABY!!!!  MEANS EVERYTHING . NO IF'S OR BUTS ABOUT IT!!!