Well I had my post-coital test on Friday the 17th at 3:45. It had been exactly 11 hours since we had sex. The doc said that my mucus looked good, and I said, "Are you sure that's mucus and not Pre-Seed, cuz I never get EWCM, so we have to use the Pre-Seed." He's like "Yeah, that's definitely mucus." I figure the guy looks at va-jay-jays all day, so he knows what he's talking about. I get dressed and the nurse comes in and says "The doctor wants you to come out and look." I'm thinking "Oh shit." I said "Is that a bad thing - that he wants me to look?" She says "No, he says it looks good." So I get to the microscope and he's looking and he says "Well, everything looks pretty good - good motility, good count...." etc, etc. He said I can look if I wanted to so I did.
It was like looking at God's own creation - it was amazing! We've all seen the shows on TV and the sperm are all magnified and dyed this bluish tint and they look weird, but in this instance, they were really small but looked great. He said while I was looking that "Some are abnormal, and that's normal, but overall, there's several in there that are directional. You want them to be swimming in a direction and not just in a circle." I said "Yeah, I can see that - looks like a few of these guys were really goin places! Now let's just hope you didn't suck out the lucky one!"
So yeah, it was over and he walks me to the desk, and I said "So what's the next step then?" He says that it was a good idea, me coming in to have the test done, since it looks like Anthony's swimmers are all okay. He didn't flat out say that this test absolved Anthony from jizzing in a cup, but he did say that everything looked good on his end. He said that with my history, he would recommend that I get the HSG to make sure my tubes aren't blocked, and I told him that the only way I can get that done is if my insurance pays for it and they won't pay for it unless it's "medically necessary". I told him that the girl at the outpatient place gave me the code they use for the x-ray and the injection, and my insurance said they cover the x-ray but not the injection, and they'll only cover the x-ray if it's "medically necessary". He says "Well...how's your periods?" I said "Oh my God, they're terrible every month - really heavy, really bad cramps, super bitchiness. From the time I was 12 and even when I was on the pill." He says, "Okay, well, how about..." and he starts writing in my chart..."possible Endometriosis or tubal disease." I was like "That doesn't sound good." And he says "No, no, I'm not saying that you for sure have either, but if we have something written in your chart and they want to see why we did what test, we at least have a real reason other than 'infertility'." So that makes sense. I said "Okay, so if this test is for tubes, how do you test for Endometriosis?" He says "Surgery. But we don't wanna go there just yet."
Yikes. So I know nothing is wrong with Anthony, but I feel like I'm not any closer to knowing what's going on, or if we're just not making the connection, or ???? I was talking to Anthony about it, and he says, "Yeah, I kinda knew there wasn't anything going on with me." Really dude? Now is NOT the time to be a macho asshole about it. We did the garden on Saturday and were so tired afterwards, we didn't do anything. Sunday morning I tried to get some, but he just rolled over and read his book. Wasn't interested last night either - had his nose in the book. I told him last night that I was sorry about making him have sex with me on Friday, and that I keep telling myself it was for the best, but I don't think it was in the long-term. Doing it Friday morning was the first time it felt like a "job", and I think it kinda messed with us psychologically but neither one of us wants to really talk about it. After this HSG test, I'm done. There's nothing fun about this anymore, and it's really starting to affect our marriage. We don't have the money for me to get surgery for Endo, and even if insurance covered it, I can't afford the downtime from work or the $1000 deductible. I almost hope they find something when I get the HSG done, so at least I'd have an answer, but if they don't, we're not going to do any more stuff. Other than what we're already doing, of course.
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