Broken!

[AvieJoysmommy]

I am so broken right now!  I am lost and hurting and my faith is shaken to the core!  I just don't know how I can go on.  I don't know how I am going to endure this for another day!  I miss my husband so very much!!!!!  I am willing to do anything to get him back ~ but he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't want to even try to make things work. 

I have NO IDEA what I have done.  Everyone keeps telling me that I have not done anything (well except my MIL) and that he is simply being immature and irrational but that does not make me feel any better.  I thought I was a good wife and mother.  I thought we were happy.  I had NO IDEA there was anything wrong.  How could I have been so blind?  I am so lonely and so scared.  I just don't understand how someone can do this to another person.  I don't understand how one person can so calously throw away a 4 year marriage for NO REASON!  He has NO REASON ~ he said he didn't know why he didn't love me ~ he just doesn't!  WTF?  Who does that to someone they pledged to love? 

We have 2 beautiful children together and he has left them too.  He says he loves them but you don't walk out on someone you love!  I would never leave my children ~ NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I love him with all my heart but I HATE what he has done to this family even more!  I am so filled with anger, sadness, jealousy, and fear right now that I can't eat, sleep, or even think about anything else!  I am so tired and I am so physically sick that I just don't know how I am going to get through another day! 

I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK!  I WANT HIM BACK NOW!!!!!!!! 

I don't know if he is cheating on me or not and if he is I don't know how I will get past that!  I know that there are women who have done it ~ my beautiful mother is one of them.  BUT I don't know if I am strong enough to forgive him for that!  I know that I have to pray and trust in God that this will all work out, but it is getting harder and harder each day to have hope and faith.  I am losing it and I am about to hit bottom!  I am exhausted both physically and mentally as well as emotionally drained!  I am just so tired.  I want to go to sleep and either wake up and find that this is all a bad dream or never wake up again! 

 

[mommy2Joel]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 2:11 AM

I am so very sorry you are going through this. Now is NOT the time to lose your faith in God though. God may just be the only one who can help you through this. Your Husband sounds confused. Pray for him and keep an open line of communication with him. Try and remember to keep it together (even if its all a front) for the kids. You CAN do this..and with Gods love and support I know you will make it through. Don't stop praying for God to carry you through this. Only he can make all things work together for good.

[JenBranch]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 10:27 AM

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Don't lose faith. Please let me know if there is anything I can do, if you just need to vent, or whatever, I want you to know that I am here for you. I will be praying for too.

Hugs, Jen

[dawnevonne5]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 12:09 PM

Keep your faith Julie!!!!!He will se you through this...

[mominbolt]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 6:41 PM

There is ALWAYS one man who loves you and never leaves you! He is with you even NOW! His name is JESUS! Just cry out to Jesus and He will be there! I'm praying for you! God bless!

~Mary

[JESUSCARES4YOU2]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 10:15 PM

Julie,

I asked my  church to pray for you..tonight.. we had prayer meeting and I know that there are many here and at my church which  will be praying for you. I know how you feel. My husband left a year ago. I know it hurts more than you think you can bear. I know what  it is to want to just sleep  away your pain. I also know what it is like to get so angry from the pain that you want nothing more than to shout your  saddness shout about the loss of dreams.. loss of hope, loss of all you thought you  knew. I am so sorry my sweet sister. I truely am hurting for  you. I wish I could make this  ok. I wish I had a way of removing this thorn from your flesh,spirit,soul,life.

And for your children I so wish  I could take this from them also. They are the ones no matter what who will suffer the most. You  will find a way... to survive.. They are the ones who through absolutely no fault, no control must ride the rollercoaster of fear,uncertainty and destruction.. hoping beyond hope that it will end safely back at a happy home. I pray now that it can be fixed.. that he is maybe in a mid-life crisis.. or something and just needing some time.. HOWEVER I SO WANT TO RUN AND SHAKE HIM AND SCREAM.. WHY  WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FAMILY IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF,AND OR WHAT THE REASON IS.

All I can say  however is my darling sic.. I will be praying for you.

[julie.r0cks]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 10:33 PM

I'm sorry for your pain. You will get through it. Be strong.

[ElizabethBJ]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 10:54 PM

Julie....I know that God answers prayer and I know He will see you thru this awful time.  I just know and believe and I want you to know and believe.  My heart hurts for you.

[Mommyx2....]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 11:01 PM

you, your children and hubby are in my prayers.  I have felt that pain before it is very difficult to see past and when you hit the floor with all your might and scream out his name "JESUS HELP ME !"  He will , when I was there he taught me to forgive no matter what because He died for me so that my sins would be forgiven, you can forgive if needed! You have to make that choice and then do not bring up your pain.

I will pray as many days/nights needed.  Listen and watch carefully for the messages that God sends to you about how to get your hubby home.

 

God bless,

Sheri

[JoyInTheLord]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 11:22 PM

Julie... I so understand where you are coming from.  Please know that those of us who have been there know your feelings.  But now is not the time to give up... and not to give up on God.  I know this is hard, it was for me... but had I not had the Lord in my life, I never would have made it thro'.  It isn't just you that you need to think about, it is your children, and they need you as much as you need them.  Don't give up... Satan is on the attack, and that is what he would want you to do... I know it may not be any comfort but trust in the Lord, draw very close to Him... as you never have before... I know He and He alone will see you thro'.  I pray for you thro'out the day... and ask the Lord to calm you... to take all those feeling and to wrap His arms around you... He promises that He will never leave or forsake us... For those of us who have been where you are... we will support you in anyway that we can... Our heart aches... because you ache... And we love you...More importantly... God loves you... Never forget that He is your strength ... you hope...  I love you Julie... Joy

[KaysMom06]

Apr. 23, 2009 at 12:18 AM

Julie! I love you so much! Im so sorry youre going through this!!! You dont deserve this kind of treatment, I wish there was some way I could help you and make everything right. Please dont lose your faith in God, He loves you and is with you always! God will get you through this. Remember Im here for you whenever you need someone to talk to, or for anything.. but also remember, that where ever you are, whenever you need someone, God is ALWAYS there for you, day and night!