I am trying to figure out how to feel about my mother-in-law right now. I just went back to work after having my daughter about 2 1/2 weeks ago. My MIL came to take care of the baby my first week back then went home. She is back this week and staying through next week to help take care of the baby while my husband and I are at work. I appreciate her watching the baby while we're at work but I'm starting to wonder if she is really the best option even though she is the grandma. Even my husband is making comments about her not being a good long-term solution even if she were to offer. We appreciate that she is taking care of our little girl and we're not having to pay someone to do it but she doesn't seem to be doing a good job stimulating our little one. She is a very curious baby and seems to be consistently about 2 weeks ahead of the average baby in development. When my husband and I have her we talk to her, not only in baby talk but we try to teach while we play. As I dress her I'll name the different body parts and left vs. right. We try tummy time (this one needs some work still...she usually just gets mad when I put her on her tummy to play), and we have introduced different toys to her. I bought a couple of the Baby Einstein videos and told my mil she could watch those with the baby but she is yet to do so. My daughter loves watching the TV with all the bright colors. When my mil talks to the baby she just says stupid stuff. Also, it seems every time my daughter gets a little fussy my mil assumes she must be hungry and just wants to stuff a bottle in her mouth rather than see if there is something else that may comfort her. She continues to tell my husband that she thinks the baby needs more food than we are giving her. I have been exclusively breastfeeding up until a couple days ago and she kept trying to push supplementing with formula. I finally have started doing that some only because I was getting so stressed out about getting enough milk pumped for her everyday and it was causing my supply to be that much more limited. Now that I'm not stressing I can produce more breast milk and I'm having to supplement even less.
I know my mil means well but sometimes she just gets on my last nerve! The first week my husband kept trying to defend her when I started getting angry (partly because I was just upset that I wasn't the one at home with my daughter but also because she kept harping on things that we explained and had made decisions on and she just couldn't accept that she was wrong or that we weren't taking her advice). This week though he started making comments about her not being the best for our baby before I did!
I guess I just needed to vent but I really don't know what to do. I am trying to find a job working from home so that I can be the one caring for our daughter rather than my mil or a stranger. Until I can get the right job though there's nothing I can do but allow someone else to care for her while I'm at work. We thought having my mil come down to watch her while we're at work would be great because it allows my daughter to be in her own home and it was her grandma caring for her. We are definitely having second thoughts on that now though. I have to find someone else to care for her after next week anyway. I pray I find the right person and even more importantly that I can find that wah job I need.