LOSS ~ ~ ~ what's YOUR perception????

[Ginny19]

How would you define LOSS?

Here's how Webster defines it:

LOSS

 

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English los, probably back-formation from lost, past participle of losen to lose

 

Date:

13th century

1: destruction, ruin2 a: the act of losing possession : deprivation<loss of sight> b: the harm or privation resulting from loss or separation c: an instance of losing3: a person or thing or an amount that is lost: as aplural : killed, wounded, or captured soldiers b: the power diminution of a circuit or circuit element corresponding to conversion of electrical energy into heat by resistance 4 a: failure to gain, win, obtain, or utilize b: an amount by which the cost of something exceeds its selling price5: decrease in amount, magnitude, or degree6: the amount of an insured's financial detriment by death or damage that the insurer is liable for

— at a loss

1: uncertain as to how to proceed at a loss to explain the discrepancy>2: unable to produce what is needed <at a loss for words>

— for a loss

: into a state of distress for a loss>

 

 

 

I was surprised at the two phrases I put in red font.  Two unproductive words are being used ~ FAILURE and DISTRESS. 

 

Also, in the Thesaurus online, are two more words I'm not too fond of.  DESTRUCTION AND RUIN.

 

 

So, it's understandable why we would associate something traumatic with loss.  It need not be that way.  For it's not the circumstance, but it is our attitude toward it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The most difficult loss is that of our loved ones.  I am way too familiar with this type of loss.  But, it is all a part of life, which I've come to understand. 

 BUT, I am grateful for the wonderful memories I cherish as special treasures deep within my heart.

 

 

Another loss, that follows as a close second, is loss of oneself.  This was another personal loss of mine.  While I was married to my ex-husband, I completely lost myself - my true identity - my genuine personality - my perceptions - my desires - my authentic self disappeared during those years with my ex.   

I sometimes feel sad for my present hubby, because of my strength and determination to be 100% me.  I've promised myself to never lose ME ever again.  After my experiences with my ex, I can be rather stubborn at remaining true to myself. 

BUT, I am grateful for finding the ME I had lost years ago, and for not letting go of myself since then.

 

 

Then there's the weight loss.  Hey, this can be a really awesome one, unless someone is extremely underweight already.  I prefer to call it "releasing" pounds, rather than "losing" weight, because when you "lose" you might "find" it again. 

 Last year I created a successful way for me to release pounds - in a couple months I had shed 21 pounds and was doing so well.  But, I guess my subconscious was saying "lost", while I was trying to focus on "releasing".  I think I've found it - all 21 pounds of it -  and it's stuck to my body like a magnet.  Or maybe Super Glue is a better description. 

BUT, I am grateful for the loss I experienced last year.  Discovering a method that worked for me, and knowing I could do it gives me a little incentive to try again. 

 

 

Another one is loss of money.  $$$    Especially during this difficult economic era, many are experiencing financial loss - loss of income - loss of funds due to increased taxes and other cost increases - loss of $$$ due to being a victim of a scam - etc. 

BUT, is losing $$$$ really as traumatic as we often make it out to be?  

From what I've seen, I think people often panic as loss of $$$ too prematurely.  It's better to keep a clear head and focus on making improvements.  But, often, the reason for the panic is simply because people may not have as much as they did before.  Is that really so bad?  I've been at rock bottom, so I know that there are ways to cut corners with expenses.  And, I know how often we forget about how much we really do have.  

Society has conditioned us to believe we always need more, when that's just not true.

BUT, I am grateful for finally learning this lesson.  It's changed my life.

 

 

Now, here's a "biggie"!  Loss of material things (sort of follows the $$$$ part) - I like to call this STUFF.  It seems to give the best description possible to the outrageous amounts of STUFF on which we waste our hard-earned money - STUFF so unnecessary, but we "feel" as though we "need" it (that's what the ads tell us anyway) - STUFF that clutters up our environment - STUFF that gets in our way - STUFF, just simply stuff!!!!!  So unnecessary! 

Material STUFF not only clutters up your surroundings, but it also clutters up your mind.  It can close in on you, causing difficulty in breathing, causing frustration, causing disorder, causing confusion.  This physical STUFF has the ability to swallow up your serenity and invade your peaceful spaces.

 It's taken me about a zillion years (well, maybe I exaggerate a bit), to discover that STUFF is UNnecessary.

 I used to collect STUFF for various reasons, of which I'm not sure I every figured out all of them.  But, to name a few -

•·          Mom told me to never waste anything.  I used to keep broken appliances - just in case.........

•·          Insecurities caused by struggling financially as a single mom - the "I'll never have enough" syndrome

•·          SOMEDAY I might just need that item.  What cured me of this one is looking at a calendar - do you see SOMEDAY on a calendar?  No, of course not!  That's because it doesn't exist.  Also, have you ever saved something you really didn't need or want, because you might need it sometime in the future?  Hahahahaha - Now, try to find it in the midst of your collections of STUFF, when (or if)  you do need it!  You won't find it, and will still end up buying a new one!

 ETC ETC ETC

After 40 years of accumulating STUFF, I'm STILL trying to sort through some of the old clutter to get rid of it.  Oh, how I wish I had learned this lesson long ago.

Yes, I am grateful for STUFF -

BUT I am even more grateful for lack of STUFF - or LOSS.  I like to call this "The Fullness of Nothing". 

 

The ONLY STUFF I would never want to lose would be photos.  But, even if I ever did lose those, I am grateful for the photographs etched in my memory - no one can take those from me - ever.

 

To summarize - 

LOSS of anything is only traumatic, when we have an attachment to it. 

 Recognize that everything is temporary. 

Change is constant. 

And, release your need to be attached.  

You'll be amazed at the serenity you will be able to experience! 

 

 

 

[ShutterbugMama]

Apr. 23, 2009 at 4:09 PM

I love LOVE love this post, your THOUGHTS, your insight, and MOST OF ALL, your understanding.  You've been there, and you've done that; you get it, and you GET IT with complete acceptance of the process; and I love that about you.  There is SUCH comfort in your presence because of your empathy, and understanding, and there is such strength to be gained by JUST KNOWING YOU because you have so much HOPE and SERENITY to offer to us..

xo

Love and peace.

[Lb128f]

Apr. 23, 2009 at 4:36 PM

You are right!! I feel motivated to throw something away :-)!! And, what a beautiful comment from Elle!! :-)

[mshaiku2u]

Apr. 23, 2009 at 4:41 PM

Loss of abilities is my daily battle, but I try to focus on what I am still able to do. Thanks for the post Ginny. Stay inspired!

[Motherdove]

Apr. 23, 2009 at 6:46 PM

Thanks for your words of wisdom for there a comfort to all...

Hugs Motherdove

[autumngal]

Apr. 23, 2009 at 7:27 PM

Beautifully written.  Wise, honest, beautiful and stubborn....quite a catch for your hubs, I'd say   :)  xoxoxo

Laura

[snuky]

Apr. 24, 2009 at 7:19 AM

Excellant post,divine words of wisdom.I always enjoy hearing what you have to say. you are a joy!