Thought I was over this

[Greenspade13]

We are unable to have children.  We spent almost two years working with a fertility specialist trying to get pregnant.  Wasn't happening.

We moved on about two years ago to the decision of adoption.  We are happy on this path and excited about expanding our family through adoption.

A friend of the family unexpectantly got pregnant and then got married because she was pregnant.  They had been talking about marriage before she became pregnant--that just hurried things along.

Over the weekend there was alot of talk about her getting close to her due date.  I am very excited for them because it will be their first.  BUT last night my sister called to tell me she was in labor.  I'm not sure why it hit me so hard but it did and I've been in a funk ever since.  My first reaction was great another person who didn't want a kid is now having one.  Why is this keep being thrown in my face?

Then I moved into wondering why God is punishing us and making this journey such a hard one for us.  Why does it seem that everyone around us is having the easiest time of their lives when it comes to expanding their families. 

WHY?????

I am really happy for all my friends but still at times it just hurts.

[Kellyjude1]

Apr. 22, 2009 at 6:49 PM

 I am so sorry for your hurt and pain.  I had wanted to adopt for years.  As the years went by, I figured the less chance we had of adopting.  I prayed all the time that my heart would one day not feel so much pain and hurt and not feel empty.  More then anything in this wold I wanted a child/children to love as my very own.  I trust in God because I knew He knew how much a child/children meant to me.  My prayers were answered- we have a beautiful son.  Please keep your faith in God-even through your toughest times.  I know your pain...I am praying that you will one day be as blessed as I am with a child.