grandkids

[baconbits]

 Will with one out of the house we're now looking at what needs to be done to keep the other 3. Our little granddaughter should be ours come May 21 forever and hopefully on April 27 when we go to court we'll find out about the other 2 grandsons. Never thought at 45 I'd be raising another whole family but I guess that's just the way things will be for now.

My biggest thing is when people ask me but if the parents get their acts back together in 3, 5 or whatever years you'll give them their children back won't you? They don't seem to get that it's a wait and see situation. If I had to answer today I'd have to say no way. They messed up their lives royally and I'm not going to let them mess up the kids lives. Down the road might be different but if the kids don't know their parents because they never spend time with them then I'd have to say no as well. I mean think about it. With our granddaughter we got her 3 days old from the hospital. She is now 10 months old and we are the only parents that she knows. Think about this being true for another 5 years. Then low and behold mom gets her act together but has never spent any time with daughter. What kind of trauma would that be to her to be moved from the only parents she knows and moved in with basically a stranger? Yes I love my daughter but I also love my gd and I will protect her first.

On the other hand in 5 years I'll be 50 and my dh will be 52. It could be we have health problems or something and mom has been visiting with the children and has gotten her act together. Then I would consider letting them have the children back. But whatever happens it will be what we feel is the best interest of the children and not the best interest of the adults. Seriously who in their right mind would ever think that raising 3 grandchildren was in our best interests.

I mean we are foster parents and were only going to do that a few more years and then enjoy time to ourselves and visit all the places we've always wanted to see that most kids don't want to see. Instead it's going to be back to King's Island/Cedar Point which while I like them I didn't plan on spending my "golden" years there. Instead I wanted to travel to Alaska and see polar bears and other animals in the frozen land. I wanted to go to New York City and take in a Broadway play on BROADWAY! I did not plan on going to parent/teacher conferences, Friday night football games, soccer games in the rain, (unless it was a once in awhile thing to see grandkids play), homework nightly, etc.  But it's something I'm willing to do because I love my grandchildren dearly and wouldn't give them up for all the trips to Alaska. Once again I will grin when I get raindeer made from their handprints for antlers, congratulate them when they make the team or take them for ice cream when they don't, teach them to love God with all their hearts, to respect others, and all the other things that come with being a parents but double that because we will also be their grandparents as well.

[lilredsfrm67]

Apr. 25, 2009 at 8:48 PM

i can really really associate myself to this. my daughter keeps saying what if i get my life together and so does their sperm donor. i tell them the same thing, "do you trulyknow what it would do to them to take them away from their "mommy and daddy". it is like they are play toys and we are glorified babysitter !!!!! i will never let it happen and they already have lost any kind of legal or physical custody, i got my daughter to terminate her rights, but the boyfriend wants to play games about it. that is fine, we tried to play nice, but i guess it has to get nasty.