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Seven Things My Husband Does Better Than I Do
- Apr 25, 2009 at 5:11 PM
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- Comments (5) Total Views (138) Everyone can see this journal post.
#1
Tune out. Not only can he absorb himself in the Wall Street Journal, he
can read article excerpts aloud to me (and formulate thought-provoking
questions to solicit my analysis) while I'm stuffing a dish towel in my
mouth to keep from screaming, "Don't you hear her?!" Milk,
please, Daddy. Daddy, milk, please. Can I have some milk, please?
Daddy, please, can I have some milk? May I please have some milk? Milk,
please. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. I want to have some milk, please. MILK!
MIIIIILK! please. May I have some milk? Daddy!
#2
Build with blocks. When I see those bright pieces of possibility piled
in the basket, I think, "Oh, that looks like fun!" But as soon as I
pick up a block a familiar dread creeps in as I realize I don't know
what the heck to do with these things. I don't know how to translate
the images in my mind to anything in the physical world, and the
brightly colored pieces of possibility quickly become mini- monuments
to my mental paralysis. But put a couple of blocks in Daddy's hands and
he starts channeling Frank Lloyd Wright! Towers and turrets, castles
and cathedrals, vaulted ceilings, vaulting seals, plantations with
elevators and fountains, casinos, a ferris wheel, theaters, an
ampitheater!
#3 Change crib sheets. For him it's just flip,
smooth, tuck, done. When I do it I end up looking like I lost a bar
brawl to a pack of hormonal gorillas.
#4 Ask for help. "Honey,
can you get the small Phillips head screwdriver from the tool chest?
No, too small. I need a bigger one. Can you get it for me? Thanks. I
need a flashlight too. Thanks. Now can you hold it right here? OK, now
I need some paper towels and a small bowl of water. Honey? Can you hear
me in there? Yeah, I also need that black plastic backing piece. Find
it for me? Thanks. All set. Oh, hang on. Wait with me while I see if
this adheres... no, no, it's coming off. Piece of junk! Here, take my
keys. Can you run to the store and get the other kind... it comes in a
blue can. If they don't have it there have them call their other
locations. If you have to go across town you'll probably have to stop
at the gas station. Thanks, Babe. You're taking the kids with you,
right? I won't get anything done with them here."
#5 Anything with a power source.
#6
Sleep. When he's ready, he simply closes his eyes and sleeps. It's that
easy for him. I, on the other hand, routinely lie awake for hours
thinking about everything, nothing, writing To Do lists in my mind... I
can't even say I accomplish anything with my insomnia, because the
snippet of sleep I snatch a half hour before the alarm goes off somehow
erases the preceding hours of deep thought.
#7 Lie.
To
his little girl: "The library is closed. They don't sell ice cream
here. Everyone in the world is going to bed right now."
To me: "You're as beautiful as the day we got married." He's good. He's very good...
Comments:
LOL I loved this journal. I can relate. I am often unable to sleep, and hubs is snoring.
LOL I can relate to this too.. by the way, I've found the solution to snoring is kneeing him someplace, or pinching ever so slightly and then pretending to be asleep. If you do it enough times he eventually rolls over lol... it's also very entertaining at 4 am when you've got no sleep and nothing better to do with your time.. not that *I* would do any of these things... *ahem*.
You're so nice about the screwdriver thing. I usually get frustrated and mutter "do it yourself!" Maybe I should journal about 7 things you do better than I do. 
I'm astonished that what I call "being a demanding little bitch" you've referred to here as asking for help.
It's amazing what a little perspective will do, right? =)
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Ah, so postive spins on the things driving me absolutely bonkers today. Thanks for the chuckle.
- Loveplusmama
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