I am so mad right now and cannot see straight!  First off let me tell you a little about him so you can understand why I dislike him so much.  He is the most rude, inconsiderate, selfish, perverted, disgusting man I have ever met in my entire life.  He is very sexists too. He believes that a man comes before a woman. Mostly himself, he only cares about himself. He lives alone, and he comes over to my house everyday and expects me to cook for him. That wouldn't make me so mad if he was respectful about it. He wants the dinner to be done when he walks in the door, he will criticize my cooking and tell me suggestions on how he likes his food prepared, he is always the first one in the kitchen to eat, and he is the first one done, and when he gets up from the table he expects everyone to be done and he starts to take your plate (he says he is helping, but it is just rude) I mean just leave me alone, I am a grown woman and I can take my own plate when I am done.  Not only that, from the moment he walks into the door he wants the TV remote and we have to watch what he wants to watch. He never bathes, so he smells disgusting all the time. My husband owns his own body shop an he is at the shop with him everyday, and he gets mad when my husband takes a day off to spend with his family, so most of our family time is spent with him too.  We have no time to ourselves. He is always commenting about women on the TV in a dirty way.  He knows no boundaries, he doesn't respect anyone.  My father is not that way, he was always considerate of us girls, and he treats us with respect still.  Whenever I try to tell my husband how I feel, he just makes me feel like I am over reacting and that I just need to understand that he is old and he can't help it. Well I think that is a crock of shit, he can help it, I fell like he knows exactly what he is doing.  There have been times where my husband has stuck up for me,and his dad has flown off of the handle and caused a big fight.  I mean big, he gets angry whenever anyone calls him out on his shit.  I know that he talks about me behind my back, I have heard alot of the comments he has said, and they make me furious. 

The thing that I am so upset about right now is....the other day he came home with my husband at lunch, and I had a made a little joke with my husband that he usually comes in the backdoor and on that day he had came in the front door and I told him he needed to make up his mind what door he was going to come into. It wasn't that serious, it was just us picking at each other, we do that. Well my fil says "Oh we were just making sure that we keep you on your toes, you need that.'  I just told him that I didn't need anyone to keep me on my toes, I am just fine.  Well I didn't think much of it until I heard later that he was saying that someone needed to keep me on my toes because all I ever do is sit on my fat ass anyway....and that I needed to get off my ass and clean my house.  I am so mad, who does he think he is, he is not my husband, I didn't marry him, I don't answer to him.  Not that I answer to my husband either.  Not that I have to defend myself but I am a good housekeeper, but anyone who has a toddler knows that your house does not stay clean 24/7. Am I right? And who is he to call me a fat ass, he should look at himself before he judges me.  I just wish he would go away and leave us alone. I understand that he is my husband's father, but does that mean I have to put up with this shit just because he is his father?  I feel totally disrespected, and after all that I do for that old man, I always try to be kind to him regardless of how he acts because he is my husband's dad.  I feel alone because I know that if I say anything to my husband he is just going to defend him because he feels sorry for him. That hurts more than anything, I don' understand this hold that he has over him. If one of my family members were being rude to my family I would certainly say something. I am just a little upset right now but writing all of this has helped a little. Thanks to anyone who takes there time to read it, I know that it is long!

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Apr. 24, 2007 at 5:57 PM

Hang in there, family can be really tough to handle!! My suggestion would be to stop trying to be so nice. Stop making yourself so available for him, be creative by packing a picnic for dinner time to take yourself, husband, children to a close park or river edge, maybe someplace that he will not go, and don't invite him. Start to make plans to be other places at the "normal"  times that he comes.


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Apr. 24, 2007 at 5:57 PM OMG!!! I thought I didn't like my dh's step dad but your is worse,I wish you could just say "I'm done,cooking for him and taking him in my home unless he treats me with respect". I wish your husband would defend you and stand up for you. So sorry your going threw this.

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Apr. 24, 2007 at 6:17 PM

That is exactly what I want to say, but I feel like the message wouldn't get through his big head!  He wants what he wants and he doesn't care who he hurts to get it. He honestly would not care that he hurt my feelings. He would think that it was funny that I knew what he said. I mean it when I say that I have never met anyone so cold and calculated. He is really a mean person. 


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