Easy ways to prevent SWINE FLU! *Please Read*

[RissaBusch]

 So Everyone is freaking the hell out over swine flu.  We should be.  We're probably all going to die from it.  So here are some really easy ways to prevent the dreaded swine flu.

#1 and most important- Freak the fuck out about it!  You need to get as freaked out as possible.  Stress out as much as possible.  This will test your immune system to see if it's ready for swine flu

2. Watch the news as much as possible.  When they say "Don't freak out" don't listen.  That's clearly just the liberal media's hidden agenda

3. Bathe in purell.  I want everyone covered from head to toe in hand sanitizer.  This will aide in creating "Super Bugs/Germs."  These germs are good.  They've got magical super powers that will fight off the evil SWINE FLU virus.  We need Super Germs!

4.Make sure you don't expose yourself to any bacteria.  I know a lot of people think that this actually helps build up your immune system but that's false.  Again- it's just the liberal media's hidden agenda.

5.  Blame Bush

6. Blame Obama- he is the Anti-Christ after all

7. Pillage your neighbors houses.  You need to prepare. This is swine flu people, it's OK to break the law to get what you need.

8. Report anyone your think might have swine flu.  If someone sneezes, call 911.  Get them seen, isolate them, quarantine them.  You just can't be too careful.

9. Don't sleep.  Someone needs to be watching your house 24/7 so they can see the swine flu coming. 

10.  Start digging!  I'm creating a secret swine flu survivors colony in the center of the Earth.  It's nice and toasty.  You'll be safe from the swine flu if you stick with me in the center of the Earth.  We've got Twinkies down here......and the Internet. 

11.-you'll need a tin foil hat to protect yourself.  Non-stick works the best.

12. Stop having sex with pigs NOW! I know that it's really hard to stop- but you have to.  You have to for the greater good.  It's OK to give the pigs a bad case of blue balls.  It will stop the spread of the swine flu.

- thank to MythicMMM for number 11 &12.  I can't believe I forgot them.

[onyourterms]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 10:52 AM

LMAO

[CjsMama914]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 11:07 AM

Can I join your colony?!

[RissaBusch]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 11:08 AM

Of course.  Have you coughed in the last 6 months?  If you have, I'm sorry but it might be the Swine Flu and we can't let you in

(Original Poster)

[Gruntlings]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 11:20 AM

hehe :) We live in NYC where there are CONFIRMED OUTBREAKS and people are going about their lives. The only difference is anyone with the symptoms is wearing a mask if they're riding on the subway/bus. :)

[hisdestina2001]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 11:36 AM

[kristal2146]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 11:55 AM

very cute.. a good laugh!

[armymommy2]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 11:56 AM

  LOL okay this is really funny lol

[tscritch]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 12:33 PM

You're going to have Twinkies??? I am soooo there!!! Do I need to bring an offering for the Mole People ? (You know they already live in the center of the Earth right?) and I don't want to piss them off!! LOL!!!!

[RissaBusch]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 12:39 PM

Crap I forgot about the Mole People!  YES!  Please bring an offering.

Oh I brought El Chupacabra to protect us from the Mole people and anyone who might be infected with Swine Flu

(Original Poster)

[sstepph]

Apr. 28, 2009 at 12:46 PM

Haha.