Am I a Terrible Mother?

[ktesmom]

Am I a terrible mother?  Does it make me a bad parent?  Am I a bad wife?  These are the things that I am asking myself.  I am a SAHM of 4, happily married, but I am in deperate NEED of a break.  I am always home, running errands, and with kids.  I get together usually every other week with a girlfriend for lunch , but with kids. 

I am literally going insane!!!  Not only are they with me ALL the time, the youngest are even in my bed!!  I have tried numerous times to get them in their own room, but it doesn't work !!  Every night I fall asleep with the youngest on me and the other next to me!!  And they pull my hair out every time!!  My husband doesn't get it!!  It hurts and I am tired of it!!!  He tries here and there, but isn't helping with working with me to get them in their beds.

I am tired of always being everyone's slave!  I feel like all I do is laundry, housework, errands, and taking care of the kids and hubby!!  I don't get much help with anything.  I do have the 2 oldest that help with the younger ones and they will do things , but only when I make them.  My hubby doesn't even help with the dishes.  I don't know maybe he feels since he works thats's all he needs to do!!

I have become short tempered with the kids and so irritable!!  Sometimes I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff with my toes dangling waiting to jump!!  I know I wouldn't , but I feel that way!!  I have lost my own identity!!!  I am no longer me, I am mom, mommy and that's it!!  DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I LOVE BEING MOM AND MOMMY AND A SAHM, but DAMN!!  When get I get a break or some time for myself!!  Hell I can't even shower or change my damn tampon with out being interupted or being watched!!!

I have tried to talk to my hubby, but he shruggs it off and says, "YES DEAR!"  He makes it worse for me mentally!  I told him I don't necessary need a night out at a bar , just a couple of hours during the day would be ok.  He makes me feel like a am such a HORRIBLE MOM for wanting to get away for a few hours and just be me!!  AM I A BAD WIFE?MOM?

[bewitched1204]

Apr. 29, 2009 at 10:28 AM

I can SO relate.  I am a stay at home mom of 3 and am constantly feeling like i am a SLAVE!!  My seven yr old slept with us until about a year and a half ago.  He still at least ONCE a week in the middle of the night crawls into bed with us because of a bad dream..ugghh!

Husbands just DONT get it!  They have work as an outlet.  WE are at work 24/7.  I, like you, never get a day off.  At least now all the kids are in school and i have time to myself but it was MANY years before i had the luxury of time to myself.

My only suggestion is to MAKE some me time...whether its a walk by yourself at night, or a jaunt to the mall for an hour on your own.  Until you can do this...you will feel resentful.  I ... just recently joined a tanning salon... it was so wonderful to get 20 dam minutes just for ME! 

You're not a bad mom or wife!  I really think feeling this way is more common than we think, its just  you have the guts to write it out.  Feel free to vent away...i can SO relate!  I am new to this site and i believe it will be a god-send for me, as i really dont even have any friends.

Hang in there!!!! and i will do the same :)