Should a family have a right to go against a loved one's wishes for life saving equipment?

[singedwingangel]

Last night while I was in the ER with my young son they brought an elderly woman in by ambulance. Apparently she had collapsed at home adn they found her and contacted emergency services. She came too before arriving at the hospital and was talking and alert, other then being very irritable. they were talking to her about the test they were running and the steps they wre taking from Xray to blood draw and IV's. they questioned the woman to verify her mental acuity , and she answered all their questions correctly, from her age to where she was and the events of her day up to collapsing and what she remembered next. Based on what I heard she had been ill for a very long time and they had seen her nearly once a week for the last month or so. The nurses then moved my son and I to a room across the hall because they were gong to have to place the woman on a ventilator to aide her breathing and to keep her going. The physician explained to the woman what they needed to do for her or she would more then likely die before the morning arrived, The woman plainly stated she did not wish for any intervention and did not want the ventilator. She wanted to be left alone and in peace for what may come.

Despite her very obvious mental acuity the doctors conferred with her family who went against the wishes of this woman and ordered the doctor to put her on the machine. So against her wishes they began putting her on the ventilator with her fighting all the way. Before completeing the process her heart stopped, to which they were told to bring her back , by the family. So they shocked her heart and resetablished a rhythm. This occurred 4 times, each time resulting in the shocking of her heart to start it again, never fulling being able to complete getting her on th ventilator. I was angry for this woman. She had made her wishes known and plain and yet her family went against them. I don't know if they were not ready to say goodbye, if they had hopes she would come off of the machine eventually ( she would not the doctor assured them she was too ill for too long, and she was well advanced in years.) Despite her repeated protests the family continued their insistence to do whatever to keep her alive until the doctor finally refused to continue doing so.

Had this woman had a living will in place it would not have mattered what the family requested the hospital would have been forced to obey her written orders. She was in her right mind at the time the notification was made to her concerning the reasoning for the machine adn she refused, It should have gone no farther. Her family should have been educated in her right to die and their ability to make it a beautiful peaceful experience for her. But their wants stood in the way, because of them this woman was violated 4 times before a doctor stood up for her rights. He should have done so at the beginning.

Do you think the family should have let her die in peace, rather then subject her to the pain she endured before the doctor finally refused to do anymore then make her comfortable??

[kimberleee382]

Apr. 30, 2009 at 6:21 PM

As long as she was in her right mind, the doctor should have followed HER orders, not her family's.  I understand that her family wants to keep her around forever... but she's a grown woman and she has the right to make her own medical decisions. 

 

 

[pr0udm0m_0f_3]

Apr. 30, 2009 at 6:38 PM

This is why I am for Advanced Directives. In a written form, even on a piece of lined papaer, signed by a Notary with your state.

This way, no matter what your family WANTS is not even a question. Being that the slip of paper is a LEGAL socument with YOUR wishes upon it, no hospital or doctor may go against what YOU want done.

[Mama0f3grlz]

May. 1, 2009 at 2:27 AM

I'm coming at this from the viewpoint of a person who has lost a parent who had n DNR order (do not resuscitate) on her medical chart. Regardless of whether she had this or not, she made no secret to our family of her wishes and there was no question. About a year before she died, she went into kidney failure and was unconscious for a couple of weeks while her body was in failure. During this time, my sister called me to tell me of my mom's wishes, which I already knew, and asked my opinion. All three of us were in agreeance that the best thing to do would be to honor her wishes. Anything else is just wrong. So when the time came for her to pass on, they did not try to resuscitate her. They took her in an ambulance to the hospital (she was in an adult care center) and while they waited on the ambulance, they checked her vitals and such and she was gone before the ambulance got there. I just think, how would I feel if my family were to not honor my wishes? How would that make me feel, if I was even capable of feeling and not suffering? Trying to keep a family member around because of your own selfishness is just plain wrong.

[kimberleee382]

May. 6, 2009 at 1:49 PM

Mama0f3grlz

thank you for sharing that story about your mother.  I really feel you did the right thing.  I also lost my mother- to cancer.  In her last few months, she requested no more medical intervention.  She just wanted to die... in her home.

I was so mad at her at the time... because I thought she had plenty of fight left in her.  She didn't LOOK LIKE her body was riddled with cancer...

But now I look back and I realize it wasn't MY decision to make.  It's her body, her life, her choice.  And I have to respect that.  Period.  I would want my children to understand and respect my choices if I were in her shoes.

 

[bugsandpirates]

May. 6, 2009 at 1:55 PM

I have to say a written form or if she was of sound mind, than the doctor's have to take her wish, not the families.

[Rachael]

May. 6, 2009 at 2:00 PM

 Absolutely her wishes should have been followed.   To keep someone alive and uncomfortable just because you are not ready to say goodbye is just selfish.