You know it is time to let go...

[izzimommy203]

Before you become the bag lady. The chic with all the baggage that no man wants to come near. I am just watching myself turn into the bag lady and I really need to quit. I am so angry at my daughter's dad that I have resorted to stalking his twitter page (partly b/c he puts his whole life on there anyway) and b/c I want to know if God has punished him yet and he is suffering. I actually feel like Jonah when he went to Ninevah and was waiting on God to destroy it (and God didn't... for those who don't know the complete story of Jonah) And really I need to just quit. I mean you can't throw a hot coal at someone bare handed with the intention of hurting someone else and not expect to get burned. And right now... I haven't got the 3rd degree burns yet, but I'm at those warning burns.

I have been talking to a great guy, who has been quite apprehensive about fully committing to me and I couldn't see why he put this wall up at the last minute like he couldn't make up his mind. Until I put on my yahoo messenger that I was angry and he asked me why and the first thing I gabbed at him was how mad I was at my daughter's dad for hurting my daughter's feelings. Needless to say, he didn't respond back. Then it hit me. I'm always talking about her dad to him and usually that is when the wall comes shooting up. Or if I was the bag lady, where my emotional baggage starts looking like a hollywood movie stars when they are going for a shoot for a month. It is quite humbling when I realized that the reason I can't snag a great grown man, is b/c I am letting my emotions get pummelled by some idiotic, and worthless little man.

So now here I sit, asking God to help me find forgiveness, before I push this guy away once and for all, and miss out on what could potentially be my blessing. It is hard, and I have never been so angry at someone that I found it hard to forgive them. I would pride myself on being so forgiving, I guess maybe I was hasty in my pride. But I am going to work on it, and for any Christian woman out there who is willing to pray for a stranger, could you pray that I find in my heart to forgive the man who used me, and walked away from me and my daughter to completely abandon us like we were trash to be forgotten?

[Liz1125]

May. 1, 2009 at 10:33 AM You know I will pray for you love, remember that Isis is the greatest blessing you could get...and yeah a jerk helped you get there...lol but its ok, because he is the one missing out on little Isis' love...you truly need to just let him go and move forward and its ok to forgive because forgiving is for you really and not for him, it will lift a heavy burden of your chest :-)

[leeda78]

Jul. 7, 2010 at 11:07 AM

I know how you feel, but when you forgive OMG, Lord forgive me for bragging, boasting and seeing someone drown in their misery, but I prayed for my baby daddy, you have to pray for them, even when it hurts like crazy, because you don't want to miss out on you and your daughter blessings, but my baby daddy did my daughter wrong, now he has no job, no car, living in an apartment, me a home lol, but i know I shouldn't be happy but what goes around does come around. God forgive me, but I will be praying for you and Isis, Put God first and give all that anger, bitterness all to him and watch how God move on your behalf.

[leeda78]

Jul. 7, 2010 at 11:08 AM

Let me correct myself, I didn't pray for him to be unhappy, I prayed that God bless him as well, so when God saw that I matured that was all it took :)