I am a third of the way through my third decade. I have been to three different colleges, in Boston MA, Austin TX, and Portland ME. I dilly-dallied along and never finished a degree, though I didn't have children until I was 28 and definitely could have put down the bottle and picked up a text book a little bit more often for quite a long time.

Now, I have three children and I have to support them on my own. Now, those wasted years when I could have been earning a degree that could have gotten me a decent career are a source of deep regret and dare I say it, self-flagellation.

I can't go back and fix it. Now I NEED a good paying job more than anything and I don't want to spend MORE time in college, when all the time I had previously to get 'er done was more than sufficient. Had I been able to look into the future, I would have known that accomplishing something in those college years would be the smartest, most important thing I could do. I was too busy bouncing along from state to state and diving headfirst into each and every whiskey bottle I came across. Now, here in another life, I have responsibilities I never could have handled then, and I'm kicking myself in the ass to think that I wasted so much time.

No one really explains when you're in high school that your education means more than a teenager could comprehend, because it can be directly proportionate to your income and ability to feed and shelter your offspring. A woman must be self-sufficient as possible for there may be times in her life when she is the one and only, sole breadwinner. Of course, if I had finished college in any of those places, it's possible my drunken life's journey would not have led me to the place where I met my husband, and the three children needing food and shelter now would not exist...

But anyway, it's back to school I go, for the fourth time. I reckon it's time I actually decide what I want to be when I grow up.



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mtnma...
May. 2, 2009 at 2:06 PM

I have decided to put the *caree* education off til grrls are done w/ us lol I too wasted lots of college time- I HAD 108 credits- but so spread out that I was still a year + away from a degree... I say HAD cuz now it has been too long- credits *expire*...

What I want to do (naturopathic healing of some sort) REQUIRES my presence (on campus) and full attention- and there is no school nearby...

my hubby and I are chugging away- doing fine. Although I know no one PLANS on a divorce... did you *know* deep down inside it was a possibility?? Just curious...

Is he employed?? Make sure he inputs financially!!!!!

 

GOOD LUCK!!!!! What are you going to do when you grow up?? LOL my mom still says she doesn't know- and she is retired!! LOL

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JoyeA...
May. 2, 2009 at 2:14 PM

That's what I want to do! The closest naturopathic college is in CT, so we would have to move. Locally, I can go back to the college in Portland and finish my Horticulture degree.

Deep down I guess I always believed there was a way this would be better one day. He's employed but I certianly can't live off of child support.

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auror...
May. 2, 2009 at 2:16 PM

I feel a lot of the same things.

But we can't see in the future and we can't go back in time either...gotta do the best with what we got.  You probably don't see this but many people would not be able to do anything but crumble in a tough situation  (me possibly included) like you have been in lately but you're not only handling it but looking for ways to better it for you and your kids.  That speaks volumes about you Joye, I have no doubt that you will kick butt in whatever you decide to do next.  Love ya!

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Nysa
May. 2, 2009 at 2:31 PM

*hugs* I am glad you are going back to school.

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jelly...
May. 2, 2009 at 2:48 PM

I have a great idea- come live with me!  Really!

I can watch the kids and stuff so you can go back to school!  It just so happens that I live right by a really great accredited naturopathic school.  It's a great idea!  And/or we can go to acupuncture school together!  Those classes are at night and every other weekend, so it's perfect!  Woohoo!

Pleeease?!

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JoyeA...
May. 2, 2009 at 2:53 PM

Good heavens, Becky, don't you live in the desert? I was thinking about this and was going to to bring it up to you because I knew you'd be all excited.

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jelly...
May. 2, 2009 at 3:08 PM

I do live in the desert, but it's pretty citified where I live.  Really, it's not all brown dust and tumble weeds as far as the eye can see, we use cars instead of horses and buggies, hoppin' karaoke bars have long since replaced saloons and brothels, and we even have soda fountains instead of water holes and canteens.  It's true that the green grass is rare and artificial, but rocks are easier up keep anyway.  It's quite lovely here, I love it.

Haha, I'm so funny.

 

And in all seriousness, AZ is a great place to learn naturopathic medicine because the scope of practice is the widest here than in any other state, meaning NDs are allowed to learn and practice more modalities of healing.

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clair...
May. 2, 2009 at 3:31 PM

You should definitely move in with Becky, because if you move in with me I cannot promise that you'll stay sober enough to wrap up your degree this time around. 

If it makes you feel any better, I have a BS degree and a medical transcription certificate and still think I will eventually go back to school to increase my earning potential because, well, look around.  Life, very simply, costs money, which requires a good-paying job, which requires good experience, which is hard to come by after years as a stay-at-home mom.  So there.  You still aren't alone.

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parri...
May. 2, 2009 at 3:56 PM

I envy you for going back to school. I don't know what career I could go after but I know I want something different.... Make this a life altering but positive decision and you will feel content.

I also think living simply is key. My husband lost his job in January and it's been all me ever since. We called the car loan company to reduce our payment, we use less water and electricity to reduce costs as well as got our home phone for local and internet only. These little things add up to a signifigant savings. I also noticed since we eat more fresh foods and less meat we are saving a ton right there. I make sure my family gets veggies and fruits and a little protein. We don't spend money on junk food except the occasional ice cream and we've noticed we're not only healthier but our food costs have gone down.

Wishing you the best career choices, happiness in family life and that you find peace in the changes. Change makes us grow into better people I think.

Peace Mama~

 

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coley...
May. 2, 2009 at 4:50 PM

Ok Ok stop trying to steal Joye away from me!  I am lucky enough to have her here.  I didn't get in gear until I had Coley.  I finished my bachelor's before Rebecca was born.  I am currently in the middle of my proffessional exams.  Lots of fun...

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