I am a third of the way through my third decade. I have been to three different colleges, in Boston MA, Austin TX, and Portland ME. I dilly-dallied along and never finished a degree, though I didn't have children until I was 28 and definitely could have put down the bottle and picked up a text book a little bit more often for quite a long time.
Now, I have three children and I have to support them on my own. Now, those wasted years when I could have been earning a degree that could have gotten me a decent career are a source of deep regret and dare I say it, self-flagellation.
I can't go back and fix it. Now I NEED a good paying job more than anything and I don't want to spend MORE time in college, when all the time I had previously to get 'er done was more than sufficient. Had I been able to look into the future, I would have known that accomplishing something in those college years would be the smartest, most important thing I could do. I was too busy bouncing along from state to state and diving headfirst into each and every whiskey bottle I came across. Now, here in another life, I have responsibilities I never could have handled then, and I'm kicking myself in the ass to think that I wasted so much time.
No one really explains when you're in high school that your education means more than a teenager could comprehend, because it can be directly proportionate to your income and ability to feed and shelter your offspring. A woman must be self-sufficient as possible for there may be times in her life when she is the one and only, sole breadwinner. Of course, if I had finished college in any of those places, it's possible my drunken life's journey would not have led me to the place where I met my husband, and the three children needing food and shelter now would not exist...
But anyway, it's back to school I go, for the fourth time. I reckon it's time I actually decide what I want to be when I grow up.
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