Ex-Friendship...(and new friendships and just my thoughts too!)

[ladyk99]

I think that I have decided to ignore the friendship request on facebook..(it is soooo difficult for me to even "THINK" about this friend..but...I also forgot.and then began to remember certain things that were said to me by this former friend..(there is family abuse in her family...I am not sure by whom..I think maybe her mom who lives with her is abusive ...and makes my former friend live with her..and do things for her..(even by guilt trips and stuff!) it's bad!

My friend, whom I shall call Vita(not her real name),was always sharing with me about the family abuse..and then later told me that her brother moved away from home and has pretty much ignored the rest of the family and has his own family Vita has wanted contact with him..and even then, he was afraid to get involved in writing to her...(something MUST be up..you know?!!!)

Also, Vita used to tell me that she did finally get a hold of her brother..and wanted for her brother to write to her mom..but, I really think that her brother must be "hiding" for a darn good reason..or why else would he have moved so far away..(I think to another country) and just did NOT keep up the communication in the family at all!) Also, tried to get out of being a penpal with his sister...etc, etc...I actually kind of wonder about that!! I recall trying to tell her to contact her brother,..that is before I learned more about the family history and (some) and the abusive lifestyle!

It's not easy to be around her mom..(she is not only abusive(although, not as much around me as a guest in the home) but, she is also very sneaky and sly..and Vita would say that her mom would spy on her and her friends..etc..(I soooo Do NOT need a friend like that!!!) I ended a  long time friendship of about 37+ years after I ended this friendship...and it's been "freedom" eversince..but, now I think that I am a bit gunshy about friends and I want to make sure that I have a solid friend..and that I can be a great friend!! It's important to have good pals...people that do NOT lie to you..or hurt you...but, that they can talk to you, listen to you..etc...know what I am saying here?

I am still smarting from my last mistakes...(it even still hurts because of former friends that I was very, very close to..from as far back as kindergarten, that I knew some of these women..and since after high school..things fell apart!! One girl I knew wanted to be "more popular"..I slowed her down..so she dumped me..OUCH!!!) I suppose I could have "changed" for her..but, NO! That is sooo NOT my style!!

I reach out all of the time..regardless of the painful past..I love the people that I get to meet..and know...even around here! I have a new friend here, that I met while shopping in one of my favorite stores..she just began to talk to me about the stuff in the stores. The really odd but, cool thing was that she was born in the same year..and one day before me in the same month!! I was born October 4th, 1962, and she was born October 3rd, 1962! I thought..that hardly ever happens that I get to meet somebody who is born so close to my birthday! Us Libras have to stick together! LOL!!!

I kept trying to guess her age..but, I didn't..and then she asked me when my birthday was..and lo and behold..we were laughing loudly outside of "our store" because we were so stunned about our birthday dates!! I have to tell you it was pretty cool..and she and I like a LOT of the same stuff...except that she is a die hard sports fan!! (which I am not!) ROFL!!

 

Anyhow...She is just a lot of fun to be with..and she makes me laugh!!

I hope that I meet many more people in my life..(Oh and I do have friends back home, where I was brought up..which is in Berkeley,Calif!) I also have a few other friends out here..but, I am still getting to know them, slowly!

But, I want to keep on meeting people out here..near D.C...I love it here...and whereever I go..I want to keep on meeting some nice people as well.

 

Well, I guess that I am going to totally ignore the "friendship request" on facebook...from the former friend...(It bothered me a lot..and I felt so confused and anxious about this..but, I want to tell you,..thanks for your "words of wisdom"...it did help..and plus..starting to remember some of the abusive stuff, also helped me as well! I kind of blocked it all out..after I had told Vita that I no longer wanted to be friends with her a few years back...(before I moved away)...I really believed that she would NOT be contacting me ever again...I guess, wishful thinking on MY part!! *frowns*)!!

 

 

Thanks!

ladyk99