Complete & Utter Folly

[madamekatekate]

****Disclaimer: There's something that's been bothering me for awhile here on Cafemom. And if you on my friends list have looked at my recently answered questions you'll know what has really set me off about this.

This is NOT a denouncement of ANY parenting method. I'll do my best to keep examples to zero or at least a bare minimum so it remains as general as the actual issue is.

This is NOT about you if you choose your methods after careful consideration of ALL possibilities. If you research both good AND bad this is not about you. In fact if you do that, I have a lot of respect for you regardless of what it is you choose and if or if not I agree with it. So, read on and I'll explain...****

 

 

     There is a great deal of new information we as mothers--as people!--have at our disposal. We have old information made new to us seemingly daily. This great influx of information comes with associated risks and consequences--both good and bad--that have to be considered, just as with anything else in life. Of course there are certain risks that are greatly outweighed by the benefits of many old and new parenting practices but I feel it is folly to ignore them simply because they are small. A risk is a risk and even minute ones can't  be discounted based on their size.

     It's been a bit of an overwhelming trend among Cafemom members to be so for something, so pro-(insert issue) that they totally and completely ignore any information that speaks negatively against the choice they've made no matter how scientifically and soundly based it is. They act like because something has only a 1% chance of happening that it never happens, that since it hasn't happened to anyone they know it doesn't occur. And when they hear one of those small risks has happened they assume automatically that something must be wrong with that person and the way they were doing something. And that simply isn't true! A small chance is still chance!  And obviously there are things that are worth taking those small risks over because of their great benefits but it's FOOLISH to act like the risk doesn't exist!

     And the even bigger problem-the part that bothers me the most-is the way that the women who are glad to do only good research are even all the more glad to give their completely biased account to a woman who needs help in making a decision, a woman who is looking for balanced guidance. When all you do is hype up the benefits and completely NEGLECT mentioning any negative information, you are being so incredibly irresponsible with another person's life. And yes that person did ask for advice but by knowingly not including ALL of the information you're LYING to that person. YOU'RE impairing their judgement. And for no other reason than you want to gain another person to your cause! And then you so hypocritically call others  "sheep" for choosing against your choice. But you're doing the VERY thing you accuse them of! Blindly following information you want to follow. And maybe you're even worse for choosing to ignore the information that displeases you! You say you're so educated and open-minded and yet you can't handle something that you don't agree with? Well, what's wrong? I thought it was just a "small risk," right? Cue Kindergarten aged child singing "Lalala! I can't hear you!"

     It's folly. Complete. Utter. Folly.

     And I'm not saying this is every woman who is strongly for something. It's VERY obvious the difference between the woman who have done the research, took the good with the bad and made a balanced, educated choice and women who do something because it's new, hip, and good from what they've been told.

    I have respect for the women who do their best to make good choices for their families, who dig deeper than what theyve heard and listen to both sides of a story.

     Doing the right thing for the wrong reason makes you the same as someone who does the wrong thing without reason. It just isn't fair to oneself to purposely ignore very real possibilities.

     Does anyone know what I mean? Do you get my frustration?

[xtwilightx]

May. 5, 2009 at 6:56 PM

Some people are just ignorant and so set in their way that they refuse to see or hear another point of view on the matter. They feel so strongly about the issue that even the slightest arguement sends their head whirling. No one has the right to speak their mind against them, no one has the right to believe or feel anything other than the way they feel. Am I understanding you correctly? That is why I give limited advice about anything medical or about how people raise their children in that department, not unless the person is so blatantly unaware of what they are doing. I am not a doctor, a nurse or any kind of highly educated individual to be offering my precise point of view...all i can offer is my hands on experiences as a basis for making an educated decision. Some peoples convictions leave no room to sway. I get what you mean.

[madamekatekate]

May. 5, 2009 at 6:59 PM

That's exactly what I mean! Makes me want to bang my head against a wall!

(Original Poster)

[logansmomma2007]

May. 5, 2009 at 7:37 PM

It annoys me to no end when people don't present all the facts.  I think that does more injustice than good.  It may even set a person up for failure.

[madamekatekate]

May. 5, 2009 at 8:34 PM

Definitely. And when something happens to a mother or her child because no one has told her the whole story the same people who neglected to tell her facts because "they'll never happen" jump on the woman because clearly it's *her* fault--*she* must not have been careful enough, *she* didn't care enough to do it right.

 

(Original Poster)