cute little joke

[crazybeautif23]

BIRTH  ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st > baby: You begin > wearing maternity clothes as soon as > > your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for > as > long as possible. 

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your > regular clothes. _____________________________________________________

Preparing for the > Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing > religiously.

 2nd baby: You don't bother because you > remember that last > time, breathing didn't do a thing.

 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth > month. 

__________________________________________

The Layette: 

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's > clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the > baby's little bureau. 

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the > clothes are clean and > discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't > they?  ______________________________________________________ 

Worries: > >

 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a > whimper, > a frown--you pick up the baby

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her > wails threaten > to wake your firstborn.

 3rd > baby: You teach your three-year-old how > to > rewind the mechanical swing. 

______________________________________________________ 

Pacifier: 

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the > floor, you put it away until > you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the > floor, you squirt it > off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and > pop it back in.

 ___________________

 Diapering:

 1st baby: You change your baby's > diapers every > hour, > whether they need it or not. 

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two > to three hours, if needed. 

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper > before others start to > complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their > knees.

 _______________________________________________________

 Activities

 1st baby: You take your infant to > Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, > Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour. 

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby > Gymnastics. 

3rd baby: You take your infant to the > supermarket and the dry cleaners. 

_________________________ 

Going Out:

 1st baby: The first time you leave your > baby with a sitter, > you call home five times. 

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the > door, you remember to > leave a number where you can be reached. 

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the > sitter to call only if she sees blood.  ______________________________________________________

 At Home:

1st baby: You spend > a good bit of every day just gazing at the > baby.

 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday > watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, > poking, or hitting the baby. 

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every > day hiding from the children

______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a > coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand > x-rays > >

 2nd child: When second child swallows a > coin, you carefully watch for the coin to > pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin > you deduct > it from his allowance!

[mirit.rose]

May. 7, 2009 at 5:40 PM

sooo funny! i only have two twin boys that are 18 mo but i see how fast i went from being a 1st child parents quickly to 3rd! super funny!

[mlregalado]

May. 7, 2009 at 5:59 PM

I was kind of a 2nd to 3rd with my first... But I had 3 other kids at home too(my nephews). Too funny.