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- May 9, 2009 at 10:23 AM
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I am such a terrible person. I should be happy and thankful for what the dear Lord has blessed me with but instead I am sitting here hating myself and my life. It is mother's day weekend and I should be trying to enjoy myself but I can't. I purchased a truck for my husband yesterday and now I feel so sad cause I know not to expect anything for mother's day. I mean the truck was going to be gotten for him for fathers day but I decided to get it early seeing as how we found exactly what he has wanted for God knows how long. I know I should not let material things judge the happiness in my life but I can not help but think about how all of the other mother's days have been. If (and I am serious) IF I get anything it usually comes out of a dumpster or someone else's trash. And I know that I should be greatful for the many things that God has blessed me with and for the fact that I was even remotely thought of. But it just hurts me that I have this big heart and yet I feel so unappreciated. Right now I am sitting here wishing I were dead. I wish the Lord would just take me home. I am so...selfish, I know. So happy freaking mother's day to me! I sure hope that all of you have a great mother's day!!!!
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UPDATE- He never got the truck running...instead he junked it. Not because of me either! I wanted him to have a truck...not that truck .....but it was his decision! Oh and how life can bring you down...we just have to pick up the pieces and find comfort and love in our Lord and Saviour...Jesus Christ!
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God... I haven't been around in so long and I missed this one. Obviously Mother's Day is passed and I'm wondering how you're doing now? I'm not a big materialistic person but I know how much those little things mean. I love to get presents and love to give them even more. YOU are worth it and have gone through so much this year. I really hope that your family found a nice way to thank you for all of your thoughtfulness. But even if they didn't, I guess this is what motherhood is all about. You are a selfless person and being a mother is a selfless job most times. (((HUGS)))
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