Ok, so my husband and I have been married a year (tommorow!!!) and have been trying to conceive for a year also with no luck. We have done 3 rounds of clomid but no luck, so Monday we go in to view our options and try out sum other things, as well as get my hubbys sperm count! Anyways, my point is this. I am very stressed over the not being able to get prego thing and everything we are going through. In our marriage I make it very clear that we should both spend time apart and with our friends bc we need that "free time"! However, he works nights and I usually work days, so it's harder for him to see his friends! I am hoping for him to plan a golfing day with his bestfriend soon, however money is tight and the weather has been up and down lately! Hopefully it all works out soon! As far as the time apart, well with out work schedules...we get enough of that bc we hardly ever go to bed together! Well, my brother is a single guy, dating sumone new (who is an old friend of mine may I add lol!) and he does a lot of w/e he wants and well, can be a jerk and incourage the hubby to act a fool basically lol! Well, he wants him to start playing hockey for fun at a rink wed nights...which I am not sure about bc I do not want him to be out all night and me here alone! If we can come to sum arrangement I am willing to work with him, but does anyone get my point? Well, he also wants to join a league and again money is tight and we are talking $300 for not even a whole season, plus he needs new gear! We just don't have it but the bigger problem is this! We are trying to have a baby and is it crazy that I don't want him out their risking gettting hurt!?! I am asking him to wait a year and then we can discuss it again, or at least till the end of this year. He says he will wear a cup yada yada and I am not being fair and paranoid! I know to sum point he is right, but with all factors in I just do not feel its the best timing! I want him to have his own life and do his own thing and I do think this would be good for him and make him happy...but he is going to be 26 years old and I feel like at this point there are so many risks. If he gets hurt, he is screwed at work! They will not pay for off sight injuries! And I know, this is all thinking the worst but ya know! It is just me and all my nerves! I always think of what can go wrong and I know I need to relax. My main thing is I want him to be healthy and all for trying to concieve. I might be going through shots daily, blood work weekly, etc. and I want us both to be safe. I know thats always a long shot...but I dunno what to do here! If we can come up with the money, do I let him play...heck I can't stop him even If I wanted to! So is it worth the arguing. He says if we wait until we get prego then I will complain about being left with the baby while he has games, practice, and etc for god knows how many days a week. Or he says what if it takes us a while longer than expected to get prego! He would be puttting  it off and putting it off playing. This is sumthing he really wants, and I don't want to hold him back. But I also feel like since we got married he all of a sudden wants to do all these things he hasn't got to do before! It is a list that keeps growing. He says he doesn't want to change with marriage but now their is two of us! Things change...not saying he has to change completely...but this is what he wanted! He pushed the marriage thing very soon in our relationship and here we are! I am happy with him. I love him and want to be in this marriage and with him. I want to have children with him and so on! I want everything with him. But, what do I do, where do I draw the line. I am sick and tired of fighting. I just need sum opinions! Sry this is a lil long! Thanks!!!

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May. 9, 2009 at 3:37 PM

I think that you should let him do it, you do say that you both like to go and have free time, and its not fair that you can do what you like but he can't, he might start resenting it and thats where the problems start.  Its just my honest opinion, maybe you could find a compromise as doing what he wants is going to cost you lots of money. Good luck hun xx

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