Letting go and letting God, easier said than done

[jennmarie77]

I've heard this saying numerous times, 'Let go and let God'.  Seems like a simple saying and something pretty easy to do, until you have held onto something hard for a while.

My husband and I have been TTC since last March without any luck.  For the first couple of months of trying I would spend a day crying each month.  Finally about 6 months or so into it, I learned to expect not to be pregnant, but then I went for my annual exam and my doctor recommended using OPKs.  Last month we started using them and I started to get excited and even hopeful, then disappointment hit again. I sat and cried yet again. Disappointed yet again.

Today our church dedicated babies to God.  While the dedications are a wonderful thing, it made me think of how much I want to hold another baby in my arms, another child with whom I can teach about God and about life.  I wanted to sit there and cry, but then another thought came into my head, 'Let go and let God'. 

Again, it's a simple thought and pretty obvious, but how do I let go?  How do I say here God it's yours and then not try to take it back? 

It's not that I haven't been praying about it, I have.  I've asked that God's will be done but I think I'm kind of afraid of what God's will is and don't want to completely let go.

So how do I let go?  How do I just hand it over and not continue to think about it, to dwell on it?

Something that Pastor A said today in his sermon stuck out, 'When we concentrate on ME, we cannot do what God wants us to do.  We need to focus on others.'

How true is that?  We live in a 'me, me, me, me' world.  It's suppose to be all about me, but that's not what God wants. 

I guess in a way, this journal is answering my own question of how to let go and let God.  It's time for me to stop thinking about poor old me and start focusing on others.  Now to pray and listen to see what God's will is for my life.

[ARmom]

May. 11, 2009 at 7:03 AM

Beautifully written & so true.  You've given me alot to think about as well.  I just want you to know that a friend of mine had trouble conceiving.  They tried for over 4 years - through fertility drugs, IVF, you name it.  Finally - they decided they wouldn't try anymore and just 'let go.'  Within the next 3 months - they were pregnant - naturally.  Their baby boy is now 8 mos old.
Never give up hope - but don't let it hold you down.  I'll be praying for you.

[lafogosa]

May. 11, 2009 at 11:15 PM

Letting go takes practice.  I think that we expect to get results immediately.    When you say that you're going to let it go, you have to practice letting it go.  You have to practice changing your thought process when you start thinking thoughts that are contrary to the belief that you're letting go.  You have to train yourself to think differently...

[MicMac]

May. 12, 2009 at 12:28 AM

Thinking of you everytime I log in on cafe mom Ms. Jenn..

I think you are right, you have to let go and stop thinking about the what if's.  I think we have these deadlines in our heads that drive our minds and convince our hearts to expect something.  Its when we give it up to him and enjoy the things we have we forget about our wants and boom in one way or another he gives it back to us.  2 m/c's a baby 2 more m/c's a baby.   I think I gave up after #2, then got baby 1, gave up after #4 and got my sweet son.   ;0) Will be praying for you. ;0)

[angellady535]

May. 12, 2009 at 1:45 AM

 Look me up we can talk .