-
I Hate This
- May 11, 2009 at 6:53 PM
- By
- Comments (10) Total Views (216) Everyone can see this journal post.
I hate not knowing where my family is going to live at the end of the month.
I hate being turned down.
I hate getting my hopes up, and then being let down hard.
I hate that I'm the one responsible for allowing myself to be let down.
I hate that my husband works so damn hard every day, and somehow it's still not enough.
I hate to see that look of defeat in his face.
I hate to see my son acting up because of how unsure my husband and I are about where we're going to live.
I hate that I'm not able to better hide my emotions from my kids.
I hate that I feel like such a failure.
I hate that I cry at the drop of a hat these days.
I hate that I can't seem to accept with grace the idea of moving back in with my Mom.
I hate that we were so unknowledgeable about the mortgage process that we walked right into one of the worst deals with "Suckers!" written in bold on our foreheads.
I hate that being a sucker once makes it near to impossible to offer our children some stability.
I hate that I can't lash out because I know that it's not the right thing to do.
I hate that people, in general, are so untrusting and rigid.
I hate that my children are being torn away from some really great friends because Mommy and Daddy have bad credit and can't afford to stay in the "nice" neighborhood.
I'm just really bummed. How hard does it have to get? How far do we have to fall before one thing, just one thing, goes our way? How long will we be taking the blows from the foreclosure?
I hate that I'm waiting for something good to happen, rather than going out and making something good happen for us.
I hate that I just don't know what to do towards that end.
I hate the dishonesty of the people whose decisions have affected our lives so deeply.
I hate language barriers.
I hate when people don't try to overcome language barriers even more than I hate the language barrier itself.
Yeah.
Comments:
I hate that being a sucker once makes it near to impossible to offer our children some stability.
Do you love your kids? Do you love them just as much in a small house as you do in a big one? Do you hug them just as close when you're in financial crisis as you do when you're thriving?
That's stability, my dear. You could have a fabulous roof over your head and have it swept away in five minutes in a hurricane or tornado. The roof is not stability. Love is. You just need a different roof under which to love for a while. I'm sorry that you have to find a new one, because that truly stinks. But this, too, shall pass.
In the meantime, there are hugs, friends, and chocolate.
Oh, MintyMandyPants.
I wish I had words...
And, no, language is not a barrier in this case =)
Well, maybe my little accent.
This, too, shall pass.
Yes. It's cliche but oh-so-trye.
Love you, Ms. Mandy.
See? Am and me had the same cliche line for you
We rock.
Remeber that song-'Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans'? That means that plans are not always the way it is going to be- and believe it or not( right now would be Not) things do work out often much better after the crisis has passed.
And it will pass, Sweetie, one day at a time, one tear at a time- remember to hug your Husand often & give him your love.
There is anothe cliche- All you can do, is all you can do. But all you can do Is enough. That is all any of us can do- our best, and do not despair.
Oh Mandy, I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. You will find a house, even if you have to stay with your mom for a while. This may feel like a huge failure and the worst thing that can happen, but try to remember that it's NOT the end of the world. You still have your family and your marriage and your health. And like AM said, having a loving family around you is so much more important than fancy houses and big bedrooms. You are a wonderful mom and wife, and we all love you here.
Try to stay hopefull, something wonderful will come your way.
I hate that you feel this way. As a kid that wished for stability you are giving your family what they need.
((HUGS))
I am so sorry, Mandy. I love you.
*Hugs* Miss Mandy....even though it doesn't seem it right now, things WILL get better.
Foreclosure is not as "taboo" as it was 10-15 years ago, right now, the issue is you're fighting against a really suck-ish economy. You will come out ahead...you already have a head start with the love you have for your family and the love they have from you.
Already a member? Click here to log in
*hugs*
- RanaAurora
Message Friend Invite