"The sooner women understand, the better" - Sexism is alive and well in 2009.

[mum-to-be-at-18]

 "Beth [Ditto] has no dignity and weirdly seems to think this is 'cool'. Revolting more like.
Some men like fuller woman meaning curvaceous NOT rolly polly flabby bodies. The sooner women understand that, the better"

- Steve, London.

This was a comment left on the daily mail website. It is referring to a music festival held in Swindon, England over the weekend. During the festival Beth Ditto of the band The Gossip stripped off her skirt revealing her legs and underwear.

Now, those of you who do know of Beth Ditto know that she is a very large girl. She is also very proud of her body and refuses to hide it. She is the lead singer of the band "The Gossip".

When i read this comment, i almost fainted. I was shocked and appalled at the sheer sexism of it. The line that hurt the most was: "Some men like fuller woman meaning curvaceous NOT rolly polly flabby bodies. The sooner women understand that, the better" The reason this line gets me so much is that the man saying it is basically saying:

"Some men like curvy women. Not disgusting fat women. Once women realise what men want to see, the better"

I'm disgusted that men still view women as items they can objectify. As things that are only living to please and pleasure them.

I can assure you, this man would not be making a point of "Dignity" if it was someone thin.

Now, other comments for this story included that the fact that Beth was flaunting her large figure. No better then an anorexic walking around showing off her ribs.

I desperately wish to point out that yes. Neither anorexics or largely obese women should flaunt their bodies as if proud of such an achievement. BUT, just because Beth ditto is a large girl. Doesn't mean she has to stick to wearing certain clothes. It doesn't mean she can't show off what she's got. She has every right to slip off her skirt like girls who are a single digit size.

I love that Beth is happy with who she is. I love that she has the guts to say

"Fuck you society, I'll wear what i want and I'll love myself in it!"

YES, she is very overweight. But NO she is not encouraging girls to gain weight. She is encouraging large girls to not hate themselves. She is showing them that we as large girls don't have to hide because MEN like the asshole who made the above comment exist.

We are not on this earth for MEN. We are here for us.

I will always keep on trying to lose weight. BUT not because a man doesn't want to see my rolly polly flab. But because i want to. I want to live long. But, i refuse to hate myself for looking the way i do. Yes, i eat. Sometimes, too much. But, i'm not going to harm myself or starve myself just so i don't get bashed for looking the way i always have.

People who make fun of fat people don't realise just what kind of damage they do.

Yeah, often, its cos we eat too much and we should stop. But, why does that make it OK to make fun of us? To ruin our young lives? I came home crying everyday from secondary school. I hated myself so much,  that i would buy the biggest bar of chocolate possible. Gobble it down fast and then throw it up until my body could not purge any more. I used to not eat ANYTHING for days at a time. All because the world around me said:

"you are fat, you chose to do this to yourself, you don't deserve my respect"

For gods sakes! I get more respect as a smoker then as a fucking fat woman!

If Beth ditto can strip on stage at a festival...i can go out and wear a skirt for the first time in years!

Thank you Beth. I would rather emulate you then a size zero ZERO.

[dragonfly7271]

May. 11, 2009 at 8:20 PM

I completely agree!  Women come in all shapes and sizes, and we need to be PROUD that we are who we are!

If we were all the same, what a sad and boring world it would be.

[mum-to-be-at-18]

May. 11, 2009 at 8:26 PM

True. I just want everyone to be happy.

(Original Poster)

[jus1jess]

May. 11, 2009 at 8:31 PM

Awesome post =) I hate comments like that. There is always gonna be someone who doesn't wanna see something you have. There's no getting around that cause everyone is different. But what he said was just shallow, rude, sexist, and immature.

[mum-to-be-at-18]

May. 11, 2009 at 8:35 PM

Honestly, i would just want him to realise what a truly vile comment he made. I know people will always be this way. But, perhaps we can contnue to try and deter such ignorance.

(Original Poster)

[mommashaybay]

May. 11, 2009 at 10:43 PM

great post!!! i refuse to wear pants all summer and suffer in 90+ degree weather just cause some skinny bitch dosen't want to see my cellulite thighs in shorts!

[mama4Christ361]

May. 12, 2009 at 12:15 PM

Wow, now I feel awful for being a size zero. Some of us can't help it. I want to wear shorts too, but whenever I do, I get called a skank and hoe because I am thin(and yes, i do eat, I just scarfed down a box of chocolates in five minutes) ALL women are beautiful. Let's just not bash ANY size okay? Size zero or size 26, we are all mothers, lovers, sisters, daughters, friends, confidantes, soulmates, wives, and most importantly--FELLOW WOMEN. I am not a size zero ZERO, I am a sister to all the women out there, trying to love my body too.

[jus1jess]

May. 12, 2009 at 12:42 PM

I agree. I'm a size 0 too and not everyone likes it. There's just no winning with everyone. You're either too fat, too skinny, too much this here, too much that there. People just need to stop being so shallow and bitching about looks. Humans are naturally diverse. Different is beautiful. Some of us have sexual preferences. But that doesn't give anyone the right to complain about how someone doesn't look like their sexual fantasy.

[mum-to-be-at-18]

May. 12, 2009 at 1:09 PM

Sorry mama4christ361 - i didn't mean to upset or offend you. The size zero zero was pointed out to people who strive at nothing but becoming a size zero. As you said, you can't help it. So i am sorry. I would never be cruel to someone for being underweight.

(Original Poster)

[mama4Christ361]

May. 12, 2009 at 1:42 PM

Thank you very much. I appreciate it and I really do feel like this is an issue we should discuss. Judgement of women is a problem, especially since most judgement is based on our looks, and it comes from both men and other women. I think the only way we can teach men to see us as human beings not sex objects is too first see ourselves like that.

How many times walking in the grocery store have we looked at another woman and thought,"Skank" or "Geez, get a treadmill" or "OMG, her shorts are up her cottage cheese butt!" Yes, I admit to doing that too. If we cannot look at other women without objectifying them how can we expect men, who truly do take their sexual cues from us, to see us as all wmoen not all notches on a bedpost?

Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop objectifying all women and instead start seeing all of us as sisters? I am not defined by my size zero, the woman who ripped off her skirt in public(didn't see it, but the OP mentioned it) is not defined by her skirt size, and neither are ANY of you! How can we stop seeing each other as a size label and instead, viewing each other as women, friends, sisters, lovers, mothers, all HUMAN?

[mum-to-be-at-18]

May. 12, 2009 at 2:48 PM

Awesome comment. Mama4christ. You are very right.

(Original Poster)