He's in jail and I finally see what his drinking has done!

[drunkswife]

TThe last week of my life has been more hellish then usual, actually it has probably been the toughest in my life! Having a collapsed lung and three pulminary embelisms were actually easier to deal with then what I've been thru the last week! On Friday May 1st, my husband came home from work mid afternoon, drunk as usual. I had kept my son home from school that day b/c he had a cold and everyone is so freaked out about the swine flu, I didn't want to start a panic in the school. My husband was his usual drunk self and got worse as the eveing went on. My son and I ran out to get some fast food, hoping he would pass out before we got back. How sick is that, you get so used to someone drinking, you just look forward to them passing out! My son told me he wanted to go to my parents for the night and wanted my husband to go away for good. I of course said ok but we had to go back to the house b/c he has medicine he takes everyday and so do I and we couldnt go without them until the next day b/c we both have life-threatening illnesses. So we went back, my husband was awake and i told him we were going up to dc and he blew up. He began screaming at me, being beligerent  and I told him to leave. He wouldnt, put his fist in my face told me he was going to beat the sh** out of me so I had no choice but to call the police. They took him to a local hotel to cool off but he came back and was hiding in the back yard so I called him again. All I could think of was my husband hitting me from behind or getting one of his guns and hurting me. We just had a similar situation in our town end in the murder of the young wife/mother and the drunk husband shot himself afterwards. How did I know if that was going to be me? I have been scared of his being drunk and losing it and having so many guns in our home, regardless of them being in a safe. He was arrested, kept overnight and then the "I'm sorries" started. Of course he didnt remember of course he was sorry but he was still not taking any responsibility. I decided all I wanted him to do was to leave us alone, I made the mistake of texting him and telling him that I just wanted him to get help and trying to be supportive but it was obvious he was going right back to where he was before. He would show up unanounced at our house saying he just wanted to see our son or do something in the yard to keep his mind off things. I met with my attorney and decided we were not in a safe situation still, so I filed and got a preliminary protective order. They took forever to serve him with it but within 5 minutes, he had violated it. In VA it is a no contact, no calling, no texting, no nothing order. I was expecting him to be upset so I was just going to let the first few calls and texts go by hoping that would be it. But after we had come back from the park an hour later, all of sudden he was calling from his cell not saying anything and kept calling then he began texting me> the last one was saying cussing me out. So I called the cops. They were amazing and very supposrtive of me b/c I was so scared. They took the gun safe with all the guns and my husbands hunting bow and put it into their armory until the restraining order is up. I then had to go to the magistrate and file a comlaint that he had broken the restraining order. So I had to take my 7 year old son at 10:30pm and go to the magistrates office and say what was happening. He agreed it was a violation and put a warrent out for my husbands arrest. I didnt want to go home b/c I had no idea where he was. We went to mcdonalds and then sat in the parking lot for a while where my son fell asleep in the back seat. I called the police to see if they had found my husband yet, they hadnt so I asked if they could meet me at my house so I could get my stuff and the dog so we could go to my parents until he was caught. They did and when we left the hosue they said they were going to where he had been staying. I was completely panicking at this point and couldnt drive the hour to DC so I went to a public place, the exxon station and called one of my best friends. we talked for an hour and then i called the magistrate who said myhusband has been arrested. My son was still askleep with the dog asleep next to him. I went home and my son wouldnt get out of the car b/c he didnt want to be at our hosue unless "daddy was in jail" I told him he was and we have been home ever since. My husband is still in jail b/c he was denied bond and the sick thing is, I'm worried about him! How Fucked up is that?! I've been with him 11 years, married almost 8 and I can't just turn off the concern and worry. I know he hates me and that our divorce is going to be nasty so I am just trying to prep myself for that. He has no money, well we both don't I am on disability and he doesn't work much b/c his drinking is so bad. He has been a plumber for 22 years, he made over 100k a year when I met him, last year he made 25k. The courtr wouldnt appoint him a public attorney so I dont know what he is going to do?! He is in jail until his hearing at least for now, which is June 16, our wedding anniversary of all days! I'm ready to run away to Hawaii or Bermuda at this point, just for some time off with my son!

[karriewren]

May. 12, 2009 at 12:30 AM

it's going to be rough but you'll make it.

[v_clar]

May. 12, 2009 at 10:42 AM

Of course you still care. You will for a long time. It's not f******d up, it's called memories. You still remember who and what he was when you met him and you want that back. Even IF he get's sober, that man won't ever be back, but a better man would be.

I agree that it will be rough but you WILL make it! (((Hugs)))