stressed and tired!!

[mommyworkerB]

Is there anyone out there that can relate to a stressed single mom with 4 kids? problem= I am a single mom duh..lol...kids dad is not in the picture at all..i don't even know if he knows how to be a dad.."you know the REALversion of a dad" anyway..sooo...i work hard, pay rent, bills.. ect. take care of my kids..but yet there's still something bothering me..i am feeling alone..and stressed with what seems to be a lot of weight taking a long vacation on my shoulders..it's so not easy at all..times get very hard ..not knowing sometimes how things will get paid..because money doesn't grow on trees unfortunately...it's not my kids fault ..but i tend to take out a lot of anger on them..of course it doesn't help when theirnot doing what there suppose to ..by helping clean there messes..always arguing/fighting with each other..my 2nd oldest and my youngest daughter are always at each others throat! i guess me arguing over every little thing because I'm depressed (i guess) doesn't help...they learn from me right? so what can i do to make things better..it's easy to say stop yelling..andkids will be kids..i understand that..but i don't know if i should partly blame my mother? I don'tknow! (just a guess)..but that's all i grew up around..I'm the only child and i didn't have a open relationship with my mother because i always got beat or yelled at..mostly, was my fault...i know that i don't have to be the way she was..especially with my kids..but i still don't know how to change that..who i am..and how i feel ..i should say. I tend to keep a lot of things inside andwhen they pile up on me ..i tend to explode..and towards the wrong people..(the ones i care about the most) anyway...i thought maybe if i wrote this then maybe I'm not the only one that feels this way or went through this..hopefully someone can help me understand what's wrong with me..there's of course a lotmore to this..but if i wrote all of what's going on on here then it would be about a 300 page letter! but to sum some of it up..this is the short story. please help if you can.

 

thanks

mommyworkerB