Been a while since I added any of my crazy responses to my mild-mannered children.  Here are the latest: 

Do not put that toe in your mouth!

Don't call Daddy "my brother's father" just because you're mad.

Put the chap-stick on your lips, not your teeth.

I don't know if beavers have lips.

No, we can't bottle farts.

I really don't think the dead wasp we flushed is going to come back and sting your butt when you sit down.

Yes, Daddies wear underwear.

I'm not sure if beavers would prefer Northern or Charmin.

Yes, I think Princess Leia would think you are cute.

Babies would still poop even if you taped their butts closed.

No, you can't drive to Texas.

What made you think it was ok to step on your brother's butt?

Sweet-Tarts are not a healthy snack!

I don't know why Anakin changed the color of his light-saber from green to blue.

Quit fake burping words!

Did you say you want to work in a grocery store when you grow up?

No, little boys don't drink wine.

I don't know what Handy Manny wears to bed.

Don't tell your granny that you won't kiss her if she doesn't buy you popcorn chicken!

Yes, I think everyone's pee is yellow.

You'll have to ask Daddy why he doesn't have any Superman underwear.

No, I didn't have big squishy boobies when I was a little girl.

What do you mean you think I need to order some of that skinny medicine they show on TV?

I'm not saying you can't wear it because its wrinkled, I'm saying you can't wear it because you slept in it for two nights!

No, you can't wear a pillow-case on your head all day, even if it is clean.

Quit fake burping sentences!

You poked her with a stick, of course the dog barked at you!

Sorry, I don't know where you left your space boots.

Yes, you can be a pirate for dinner.

I guess Optimus Prime's father could have eyed blue eyes.

No, you will not have big squishy boobies when you grow up because you're a boy.  Does Daddy have big squishy boobies?

You're baby sister didn't die, you never had a baby sister!

Yes, show me how your phone can turn into a pencil.

No, we can't trade your brother for a puppy.

Do beavers even have toes?

Quit teaching your brother how to fake burp!

Indiana Jones can only come over if you clean your room first!

I'm not sure what happens if hail hits the birds!

Phones don't jump!

Its glass - did you expect it to bounce?

Untape your brother from the wall!

Just about wraps up the news for now.  I have to join my boys at work in the spy factory, so have a good one :).

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Comments:

mommy...
May. 17, 2009 at 1:00 AM

Your boys are awesome

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ccspi...
Jun. 14, 2009 at 2:31 AM

I literally have tears running down my face right now. hilarious

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feral...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 4:20 AM

ah yes the  things you niver thought you have to say

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