Why are some families spared the loss of their little ones, and others not!

The only thing I can think of, it's not the fault of the parents!

Why at the last minute does God's miracle save the failing little life?

The only thing I know, is we don't see the whole picture..

God saves for the Glory of God! Everything brings Glory to God!

It doesn't help to know this. Not when we were the ones that lost our little angles.  We,That have that empty feeling!

Maybe some day down the road we will see the answer, maybe not.

Only God knows, and maybe years after we are gone, some good will be in affect due to our little Angles loss.

When my little beautiful Elicia passed they called and ask permission to do an autopsy, to maybe learn something to help other babies with same birth defect, I said yes, in the middle of my grief..

It was the hardest thing I had ever dealt with.

They now have a surgery they can do to save the babies that would be born with intestines on the out side, They did many surgeries on her, trying to reopen the crushed intestines. She just couldn't survive the ordeal.. Once they had fed her, she missed the feedings, it was so hard to watch; she lived a month to the day.

They called in the middle of the night to let me know if I wanted to see her, "she wouldn't live through the night! " I can hear the words now. This was in the 60's, we weren't allowed to stay with our babies than. Nor were children allowed.to see/visit.

The nun asked if I wanted to hold her, I was afraid to, I knew I should comfort her, but just was afraid; if she died in my arms I would drop her.

The terror of watching her go down hill, to suffer so much, just can't be explained!  They called just when I walked through the door, at home, and told me she passed, but she didn't die from her illness, Her little heart had just stopped. I had prayed all the way home, for God to stop the pain and take her home,. He answered my prayers!.

I don't think there is anything worse than an infant in that much pain!

So maybe this surgery they have now, that I just learned about the other day, came partially from what they learned way back then.

Some day I will see my beautiful baby with dark curly hair, beautiful light skin , Long fingers, and such a petite frame Some day siting on the lap of our Lord!

It doesn't mean I miss her less 

You never forget!


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Comments:

vinta...
May. 14, 2009 at 9:06 PM

That was such a beautiful post.  I'm sitting her crying.

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