Is My Friend Making a BIG Discipline Mistake?

[sunnymoon627]

My friend has a 14 month old daughter who hits people, usually in the face.  If the baby hits her mother's face, she slaps her tiny hand really hard.  And when baby starts to cry, she immediately hugs her and kisses her and says "I'm so sorry!"

I know this is wrong on so many levels.  I've tried to lead by example by gently taking the baby's hand, touching my face gently with it and repeating "nice, nice" a few times.  The baby doesn't hit ME anymore, but she still hits her mother.

Should I leave it alone?  Should I say something more direct?  I'm afraid, for one, that this child will think that people who love you should hit you before giving you affection, leading to possible violent relationships as a teen and adult, OR this child will end up thinking she can do whatever she wants, and for a little pain (from her mother's hitting) will get rewarded.

[sour_blueberry]

May. 17, 2009 at 5:26 AM

She might be hitting her mother to get the attention. My brothers did it. My daughter does not because she gets punished with no "I'm sorry" from me! Tell her she is reinforcing bad behavoir.

[MSugarKane]

May. 17, 2009 at 8:12 AM

I would lead by example.  The next time she does it to her mom, say Oh!  She doesn't hit me anymore, I did this....and show her .....and if the mom insists on letting her kid hit her, then you can't fix stupid.