Diagnosed - Crazy. My hospital visit last night.

[KYChica]

I have known all my life that I was different from others. The way I think , feel , & act. Since 15 years old I was diagnosed with manic depression which lasted a few years. I've been off & on countless meds , but nothing ever worked. So for a few years I gave up & tried to battle it on my own. I was doing fine until recently. It hit me like a brick .... a really big hard brick.

I finally broke down & went to the hospital last night. After countless hours of talking to a "mental health professinol" I was diagnosed : crazy. She begged & begged to let her commit me. Since I'm not suicidal (This year) , she couldn't do it without my permission. To be honest , I really wanted to go. But I have 3 kids that I can't leave behind. At the same time , I need to be healthy & happy for them so I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place. I had no idea I had so many problems going on in my head. I knew of a few but the list the lady named off left me in shock. I have anxiety , paranoia , post tramatic stress disorder (From my childhood) , depression & OCD.

Wow. I was put on a medicine called Vistaril. 25mg twice a day. I was told it's stronger than Xanax. I must really be loony. I have an appointment at the Mental Health place on Tuesday. She told me she's going to tell the dr there of 5 other medicines to put me on.

So in all I need 6 medicines to be happy , function , & to deal with things that people deal with easily on a day to day basis. Why? Why me? What's the point of being here if I have to be programmed (By  meds) like a robot to live.

 

[Debbie062008]

May. 18, 2009 at 8:08 AM

Hi.  I saw this post in the Newcomer's Club but since I'm not a member, i had to come here to comment.  First of all, slow down!!!!!!!!  I definitely would't let them put you on six meds at once.  I haven't dealt with all those issues that you are dealing with, but I've been dealing with depression for years as well.  I recently got off the meds and am going it alone, as you had been doing.  Seems we are switching places!  Anyway, do your research.  Don't let them put you on anything you aren't comfortable with.  Be careful because they might not be able to commit you if you aren't suicidal but they can and will report you if they think you are unable to care for your kids.

Good luck and feel free to talk to me if you need someone to talk to.

[singedwingangel]

May. 18, 2009 at 8:12 AM

OK deep breathe momma. I know all of it is overwhelming and scary. I am not against meds if they are given correctly and not just to robotoize someone into being happy. Emotions are a good thign and not dealing with them or covering them up is not a good thing. There are some natural things you can do and take to help wihtout having to turn to "prescription:" medications. Explore all avenues for you and your children's wellbeing. I know from personal experience that fish oil is a wonderful brain food, working with moods, anxiety, depression, mood swings. I also knw there are so many thins we lack in today's modern diet that the brain and body need to function at peak levels.

You have gotten this far and God is not gonna let you down now... I will keep you in prayer and lifted up for a touch..

Oh yeah for anziety Psalm 91 read out loud in my moments of panic was my cure. I was on vistaril as well and I was pregnant!!

[mandyandthree]

May. 18, 2009 at 8:14 AM

I have alot of the same things and I have found that the point to it all is the kids and my loved ones not being happy that just isn't in me I can pretend to be happy for everyone I make it a game how norramal can I pertend to be for them.

[Nattiesmom9603]

May. 18, 2009 at 8:30 AM

I read your post in the newcomers club but it was deleted...anyways,I have anxiety and sometimes its crippling and thats why I made an appointment with a doc for this week.I think you should talk to your doc about starting slow,meaning not all those meds at once and see if there are natural alternatives you can take.Good luck!

[Ilovemyson51508]

Jun. 10, 2009 at 5:45 PM

im sorry momma HUGGS!! i know how it feel i think i need meds but i wont go because im scared of what they will tell me! im here if you ever need to talk!

chrissy

[Jerseymom1228]

Jun. 10, 2009 at 6:29 PM

Hey girl. I'm sorry that you are going through this right now but keep in mind, we all need help at one time or another in our life. I myself went on anti depression medication for a variety of reasons and I'm not ashamed to say so. It's OK to need some extra to help you get through the days, god knows life is too hard sometimes. Keep strong and PM me anytime you need to talk.

Staci