Why can't he understand?

[mauspond]

I am so beyond pissed right now.  Pissed and hurt.  So if you read my previous two journals posts you know that I have been having problems with my son.  My husband tells me "it's just a normal boy thing, it's just a phase, he'll get over it"  Well he has no idea.  What my son is going through is not just a normal boy thing.  He is beyond angry.  I get told at least once everyday that he hates me and he doesn't want to live with me anymore.  And it's not just what he says, but the way he says it.  With such anger.  He is just full of anger and rage.  Well I told my husband that I thought he needed counseling and he didn't think he did.  Well he's not here, he has no idea what his son needs.  So after putting up with it for months, I took my son to a counselor.  Now my husband is all pissed off at me.  I told him that the counselor thought my son might me suffering from depression, and that I too should seek some treatment for myself.  My husband then begins to basically tell me that I am weak, and that there is no such thing as depression.  He tells me that "he doesn't act like that around me, so that must tell you something"  Are you serious?  How are you going to tell me that it's me?  I am so upset right now.  He has NO F***ing clue as to what I go through on a daily basis!  I am a mother and a father 24/7!!!  I don't get weekends off.  I don't get holidays.  I pay the bills, clean the house, take out the trash, do the laundry, fix the food, bathe the kids, get my son to tball practice, make sure his homework is done, play with the little kids, mow the yard, the list just goes on and on.  I do everything!  I am sorry if it's hard on me.  I am sorry if I may need a little help dealing with my son's "so called depression"  I'm sorry if I need help dealing with my depression.  I'm sorry if my family has a history of mental illness.  I can't believe that he would do this to me.  Why can't he just support me.  I did what I had to do!  Why can't he just understand that?  I am so sick of everything right now.  I am sick of feeling like I hate my own children.  I am sick of being angry and sad all the time.  I am sick of life.  I am sick of a husband who can't support me and understand that I am doing the best I can to survive, and it that means getting a little help and some counseling I am sorry.

[Jenna66]

May. 20, 2009 at 10:16 PM

I am so sorry you are going through all that. Its very hard when people don't understand that depression is REAL!!

[jgal29]

May. 21, 2009 at 3:57 PM

You just described how I feel most of the time Big Hugs I think your doing the right thing with counseling