He Regrets Ever Marrying Me....And I Dont Know Why

[KensysMama]

My Husband and I were High School Sweet hearts. We dated since Junior year and into my college years. At the beginning of my 2nd year at school, we got married. He was 19 I was 20. My mom is very over protective. That summer my husband was looking for an apartment so he could move out of his parents house, and because of that my mother was extremely upset that when ever I went out we were going to his apartment to have sex, which was not true. I knew that I loved him dearly and At the time this was going on we had already been engaged for almost a year (and yes he went to my parents first and then asked me to marry him. Background on that he promised my mother and grandmother that I would complete college before we got married)

Anyway I was tired of my mom keeping me away from my love and I knew that I wanted to be with him every day of my life; we already went everywhere together--away for the weekends, on vacation to the beach for a week or two. So we sat down and decided on a date and we went to a courthouse and got married. I was so happy, he was everything I wanted and more.

Three months after we got married I was pregant with our now 8 month old daughter Mackensy. This past summer I was extremely hormonal and his very pushy mom and I clashed badly. Needless to say I was not a very friendly pregant women. The hormones didnt really wear off til this past winter and I am now coming down from my hormone high and making amends for my outrageous behaviour.

Now a year and half later and three conversations about change later, my husband declares to me that he is done with our marriage and that he has a meeting with a divorce lawyer on Tuesday. I am still totally in love with him. I haven't eaten in days and am totally miserable. After I begged and pleaded he agreed to go to one and only one session of counseling.  But all the while he agrees with this, he tells me that he isn't happy and wont ever be happy with me again becuase he has been having doubts since we first got married because he says he got married for the wrong reasons--that he only married me because my mom wouldn't let me come over to his apartment.

How could he completely regret all of this? We have a beautiful little girl who is the light of both our lives! I am devastated. I am still in school and take care of my daughter when I am not in class. I dont have any money to take care of us. I just dont know what to do.......... 

[KensysMama]

May. 21, 2009 at 8:54 AM

I know I sound like a pathetic simpering woman and should be stronger.......

(Original Poster)

[KensysMama]

May. 21, 2009 at 9:06 AM

One more thing, I am looking for support so just give me bump atleast.......

(Original Poster)

[amj616]

May. 21, 2009 at 9:18 AM

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope that things get better for you guys.

[Rebeccaroe]

May. 21, 2009 at 9:28 AM

idk what to say I'd be pretty heart broken and upset also my dh just told me this morning he's not happy so.................... Yeah I've been crying alot.

[Rosiea81]

May. 21, 2009 at 12:37 PM

Oh wow Bless your heart! But you have to be strongest for you little baby… Try not to cry around her because she will feel your pain and it’ll only stress her out! Will your family help you w/ her? Can you move back in w/ your parents until you finish school?

 That would be the best thing for you and you need to get out!

He just wasn’t ready and its okay! Most men don’t mature until there mid 30’s and in some cases not even then! Don’t blame your self it isn’t your fault he is selfish….

 

[sherriet]

May. 21, 2009 at 6:02 PM

I'm sorry.

[Kathykat]

May. 21, 2009 at 6:26 PM

sweetie i'm going threw the same thing. and here's somehting i like to read over and over... and as much as u love him sometimes is better to let go.

 

Just lil thing about relationships.. hope u like it...
Category: Romance and Relationships

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary. Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others

[pnwmom]

May. 21, 2009 at 6:32 PM

Wow Kathykat !!  That was a good comment.

KensysMama, I hope things get better for you.  I would print out what Kathykat sent you and read it when feeling down. 

[older]

May. 21, 2009 at 7:41 PM

I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE IN SUCH PAIN, BUT THAT OLD SAYING IS TRUE, THINGS DO HAPPEN FOR A REASON, AND MAYBE THIS MAN ALTHOUGH YOU FEEL IS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS NOT FOR YOU.  YOU ARE STILL YOUNG AND YOU CAN STILL FIND OUT WHAT LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR YOU, SOMEONE WHO DESERVES YOU IS OUT THERE WAITING FOR YOU, IN TIME YOUR PAIN WILL DIMINISH, BUT DON'T DWELL ON WHAT IS NOT MEANT TO BE.

YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, AND LIFE WILL STILL GO ON.  BROKEN HEARTS MEND ON A DAILY BASIS, AND YOURS WILL BE NO EXCEPTION.  HANG IN THERE HUN, YOU WILL BE OK.

[rebabeach2]

May. 21, 2009 at 8:28 PM

Hugs mama. I'm so sorry.