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My Journey to Home Birth
- May 22, 2009 at 2:29 AM
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- Comments (5) Total Views (159) Everyone can see this journal post.
On November 7th, 2007 I found out I was pregnant. The news came a day after my older sister informed me she was pregnant, and my husband was on the phone finding out his sister was pregnant when I came walking out of the bathroom with a BFP in my hand. I had no idea what to do from there, so I called Planned Parenthood to get a list of OBs in my area that accepted my insurance. I made an appointment with the first office I called, and had to wait a month to be seen. My husband had just been hired at Coca-Cola and we were still waiting out the 90 days for our health insurance to activate.
December 10th I went for the first appointment which was nothing more than interviewing with the midwife and filling out paper work. I was given pages upon pages of information to read through, including a list of their procedures. While reading through everything I noticed they did some things that I didn't feel very comfortable with. For one, I do not like IVs at all. I can feel the needle in my arm and as a result I keep my arm straight to my side the entire time one is in, the feeling of the needle moving when I bend my arm is enough to make me vomit. Needless to say, it didn't sound at all like something I wanted to be dealing with while in labor.
My older sister sent me an email telling me about a group thing she joined on Cafemom for women due when we were due (we were only a week apart). I joined and made conversation with many of the women, but found that aside from being pregnant, we had very little in common. So, from there I set out to find groups on here that included women more like me. I found a group called Birth Is Normal, and immediately fell in love with the name. I thought to myself, "How could it be anything but normal?" I had so much to learn.
I joined the group thinking I was like the rest of the women, but quickly learned that I was more of a black sheep. Well, grey anyway. I had so many questions and they were always answered. Most of the women even offered books and links to studies to show me why/how they felt the way they did about interventions. When I joined, all I knew for sure was I did not want an IV and I did not want an epidural. My mother had 2 epidurals out of 6 kids and she has nothing good to say about them. I have seen her struggle to get out of bed some mornings because her back is so messed up from the needle. I joined the group already having the intuitive knowledge that a needle going into your back is rarely a good idea - especially during child birth.
As the weeks and months went on I became fascinated with all things birth. I made it my mission while I was pregnant to learn as much as I possibly could - both the good and the bad - about pregnancy. I learned which interventions were most common and when they were actually necessary. I learned how to tell the difference between needing an intervention and when a hospital or doctor was pushing it for reasons that really only benefited them. I decided then that I was not going to birth at the hospital. After looking up the stats of my local hospital, I found that they had the typical 33% c-section rate as well as a sky high epidural rate and they did not offer water births. I spoke to my midwife who was incredibly supportive of my birth choices, and she recommended I check out a birth center in the next county. That would mean losing me as a patient, and losing out on a nice paycheck for delivering my child. She is one of the few out there who cared more about me, my son, and my wishes than she did about her wallet. I will always remember what a nice person she is.
So, I called the birth center that Deb had recommended and I was informed that the midwife had taken a private practice job at another hospital 45 minutes away and that if I wanted to birth at the center, I would have to be seen by an OB. I politely declined and hung up. I sat in my living room going over my choices and realized that since I was not going to birth in the hospital, I was going to have a home birth. Well, I started calling the home birth midwives in my area, 2 covered by my insurance, and 1 who was not. Of course as luck would have it the 2 who were covered by my insurance would not be available around my due date and I did not have the money to pay out of pocket for the third. Hmmph. Now what?
I went into my favorite cafemom group and messaged one of the smartest people in there at the time and told her what I was facing. She is currently becomming a midwife and is one of -if not the most natural birth minded women out there. I knew that some women in that group were planning to UC (unassisted childbirth) and realized that this is something I could do. I told the woman about what I had decided and instantly felt this overwhelming calmness come over me. It was like something inside me was waiting for me to make this decision and now that I had, I could finally breathe. I asked her for her help in tracking down the last of the information I would need, and also if she knew of a good place to order a birth kit.
When my husband came home from work that night, I sat him down and told him we were going to have a home birth. At first he was reluctant to follow me quietly into this venture, but after I was able to answer all of his "what if" questions, I think he realized I knew what I was doing. We watched documentaries, looked at studies together, read through articles explaining warning signs of certain conditions, and ways to prevent things from happening. We were set. I ordered my birth kit and we began waiting for the arrival of our son. At first we opted not to tell anyone about our choice because we knew that the general thinking surrounding birth is that it is dangerous. I just didn't feel like dealing with all the questions again, and since it was my pregnancy, and my child, I really didn't see the need in convincing any of them. I continued to see the midwife at my OBs office for prenatal care, and everything was still good. I stopped going at 36 weeks when I found myself waiting in an office for 45 minutes just to refuse an unnecessary GBS swab as well as unnecessary vaginal exams. I didn't much like the idea of someone shoving bacteria up into my vagina and dangerously close to my waiting cervix. Call me crazy, but since a woman can be 2cm dilated and completely closed an hour before going into labor, I really find the whole idea of exams to be dumb.
Ok well my due date comes around and low and behold a baby was born. My sister gave birth to my niece on my due date. We still chuckle about that. Another week would go by before I went into labor. At 41weeks along I had some very minor contractions. Strong enough to notice, but weak enough to shrug off as strong braxton hicks. I went to bed (it was around 7:00 AM) and slept until 1:00pm when a strong contraction woke me up. I came down stairs and got a drink and told my husband he might want to call into work. He asked why and I said "Well, it could be a false alarm, but I think I might be in labor." He called off and we went about our day. We ran some errands and walked around Walmart then at around 6:00 that night settled down for the long haul. I was too excited to sleep, though looking back I should have tried to get some rest. By 12:00 the contractions were very strong and there was no doubt anymore about me being in labor. Funny now, but up until that I time I kept saying that it could still fizzle out.
I had my birth nest all set up and weathered out the contractions mostly on my birth ball. At 2:07am my mucus plug fell out, so I guessed that I was around 6-7cm based on the side of it. It came out in one huge glob, so I figured I had to have dilated past the size of that for it to have dislodged in one piece. I think I guessed pretty accurately because almost immediately after it fell out I was slamming into transitional labor. Transitional labor is not fun and in my case, not pretty. It really was like I was standing looking at a wall that was 1000 miles high and couldn't picture myself getting past it. My labor was hard on me, but everything in my gut was telling me that the baby was still doing fine. Finally around 5:00 I started pushing. *I* didn't push actually, my body did. I had no idea what was going on at first and it took a couple of contractions for me to realize that my body had reached the stage where it was urging him out.
At 5:20am Dominick Allan Waltimire was born. I birthed him in my living room without the aid of a paid professional. The first people to see/touch him were his mother and father. I held him and admired him. He was small, but perfect to me in every way. He weighed 5lbs 8oz and was 19 inches long. It's hard to believe that he will be 1 year old in just a couple of months.
Comments:
Wonderful story! I'm so glad you were one of the lucky ones to come to this realization without having to endure a traumatic birth first.
what an amazing story! way to go and i'm glad he was and is still a healthy happy baby. they seem to be that way when they aren't thrown directly into doctors arms. wish i could have had a little more unassissted, but i still had a good birthing experience. happy birthday Dominick!!
Congrats on your birth and your baby!
You are lucky the group you were in was so kind to you and helped you out and understood you were anxious and new to the whole thing.
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Thanks for sharing your story....it's beautiful. I'm glad you had a good UC experience.
- Lb128f
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