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"This Baby Was Growing & Moving Inside Of Me, A Life, his heart beating") A Mother Story
- May 23, 2009 at 5:20 PM
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- Comments (40) Total Views (1449) Everyone can see this journal post.
My pregnancy was a very BIG SURPRISE!
We were done having our family. My DH had a vasectomy the month we
found out we were expecting. God had other plan's for us.
OK so I was 37......The day of my amnio,I had this gut feeling that it was going to be positive. One
week earlier my doctor had told me to have the Amnio. He had told me
the risk I had was 1 / 266 After talking with him. I agreed. My doctor
knew I would not abort, If there was something wrong, I thought I could
prepare myself and family. At the same time I also would know if I
was having a baby girl , after having three boy in a row. We were so
excited thinking maybe Pink this time.Our last time.
I had the Amnio done. I was 20 weeks. It wasn't painful. I did cramp for 2 days. I took it easy.laid down kept myself relaxed. I
knew something was wrong. I remember getting the call they had my Amnio
results. It only took 6 days. It was on Friday when the call came.
My
stomach tied in knots I knew something was wrong. I had to wait till
Monday , to come in and talk to the doctor. It was torture. It was the
longest weekend of my life. I knew it wasn't good news. My mind was
racing as I drove there. I walked into the doctor's office and the doctor said, I hate to have to give this kind of news , Martina your baby has Down syndrome.
I
was silent , I was in shock. I never in a million years would of
thought those words would come out of his mouth and I never would have
guessed I would be that person . The one getting this diagnoses, The 1
in 266, not us not my baby. this couldn't be happening. I was not
prepared to hear these results alone, I wish my husband was with me
that day.
I had eight healthy babies.EIGHT! My mind went blank, I wasn't hearing him, I could see his mouth moving. My doctor said, well I can make a call and I just said is that all. Only down syndrome! He
said is that all!
He goes on about how sick Downs baby's are , with the
heart defects, intestinal defects . He could be blind and deaf and then
he says He will be Mentally Retarded. I can't believe he said that!
I
wanted to scream, This is my baby! Why are you talking to me like you
don't know me.....I was sick to my stomach. I liked my doctor he
delivered 3 of my children, but today I didn't know him at all. I just
thought how cold, he was to me. As if he was reading a script. He was
Just COLD no real feelings.All I knew was I will not KILL my baby! Why
was he pushing me to do something, he knew I wouldn't do! He
went on...How much of a burden he would be not only to me and my husband,
but our children. You don't want that do you he said. He said it
wouldn't be fair to them. To you, to your husband. He said ,
don't feel bad and we could terminate the following day, you don't
need to feel bad, He said most women do it. He even added that if it
was his own daughter, he would advise her to terminate.
NO, I
would never do that. I would never abort. This baby was growing and
moving inside of me, a life,his heart beating, I didn't care about the
Downs Syndrome. This was my baby not Down syndrome. I could feel it
move. I heard the heartbeat. It's a life. It's my baby's life.
As
I heard his voice say, "you have 2 weeks to think about it, because after 24
weeks you have to get a court order to abort". My God that there should tell you something . It is wrong to kill a life! My
God! this is why so many women opt to end there pregnancies. Doctor's
give you the worst scenario. What about the life of the baby, the right
to live. Down Syndrome is a disability not a death sentence. I just
walked out. I said see you in 4 weeks.
I found out that day
we were having our fourth son. I cried all the way home , told my
husband who then just hugged me so hard, and we just cried together. I
told him everything the doctor had said. We just were shocked. It felt
as if a loved one had died, I started to cry and we prayed . Holding each
other. He kept saying it's going to be OK! It will be OK.
That night, I had the doctors voice in my head playing over and over like a tape recorder. I
started to think about our lives, and what if this baby was really
sick. What if he had all the thing's the doctor had told me. I started
to think about the baby suffering , needing surgeries the pain he would
go through. I didn't think I could handle it. It has breaking my heart. I told my family, most were supportive and some weren't. I was in hell just agonizing over my baby's diagnoses . So
after that night I just wanted to know how the baby's health really
looked, So the next day, I called the doctor and asked to have a level
2 ultrasound , I wanted to make sure my baby was OK. One week later I was at
U C Davis in Sacramento.
We seen our baby on that screen,
healthy little boy with no signs of Downs. My heart melted seeing him,
moving, sucking his thumb, kicking, His heart-beating so fast. His
heart chambers were all just perfect. No signs of any malformation. I cried out of joy. He looked just great! All the makers for Downs were not there. No
heart problems, No intestinal problems. His size was good, his nose
bone looked fine, the toes were fine. He did have a dilated kidney, a
little fluid, but most boys do.
The lady doing my ultrasound was in disbelief, and she insisted on a second amnio , she said the lab may have made a mistake. We
told her Amnio's are not wrong. I just thanked God I was just so happy
my baby Adam, looked great! That's right Adam was the name we picked
right there and then! Adam was 22 weeks along. I felt really like a great weight was lifted off me that day. I was going to enjoy my last
pregnancy and find out as much as possible about Down Syndrome. I
spent the next four months looking up Down syndrome on-line.
I found the best support group on babycenter .com They
answered all my questions. Reading their post made me stronger and more
ready to embrace this new little life. As I read into their lives, I
was starting to accept the diagnosis. It wasn't as scary anymore. We
would make it through any obstacle we would face.
It's Adam's birthday!
On June 14 at 7am my doctor had me to come in to the hospital to be induced. I was induced due to my BP it was high. I
was 3 cm. They hooked me up to pitocin asked me all the boring
questions and for the next 12 hours nothing was happening. I did not
feel not one contraction. At about 8pm doctor checks me and I was 5cm,
but I wasn't contracting, He then broke my water.I had been induced 6 times and never had the pit not worked. My BP was getting higher and the baby's heart rate was dropping. Doctor told the nurse to hike up the pitocin. I kept thinking why it's not working! Take it off! At around 9:45pm I got what was the worst pain in my side. I was screaming and the nurses were running in and out. They brought in a ultrasound machine and seen that the baby was lying sideways , He was right up against my hip bone.
My
baby's heartbeat was dropping. At 10:30 they called in the doctor ,
they had prepped me for an emergency c-section. I was scared for the
baby. I had never had a c-section before. My DH was home with the kids
and had to be called to make it to the hospital for the emergency c-section....I kept asking for him. At
the time I am being wheeled into the operating room, The nurse says you
do know your baby has Downs Syndrome right! I said yes we know. He might not look like you have imagined . I thought to myself this lady is rude….I SAID , Why is he going to have three eyes or what?
He's going to look like a baby I said, My baby, His name is Adam.
The spinal was in after 7 agonizing painful times trying to get it in.
As they laid me down I
remember closing my eyes and just like a out of body experience, for a
few seconds I couldn't hear a thing. I felt like fainting. I was in
shock, I started to feel like something was wrong, I heard the doctor say I was crashing
I don't know what happened after
that. My husband wasn't allowed in and as I heard Adam squeal. I seen
my husband walk in. I never heard my baby cry. I was taken to my room
and about four hours later they came in and said he was doing OK, but
they had him under the heater to keep him warm he wasn't able to keep
his body temperature. He was breathing just fine. His heart rate was
back to normal, but they did hear a some heart murmur's. After
about 12 hours they brought him to me , as I held him my heart grew
with so much love for him , he looked into my eyes and I knew God was
Great!! We are blessed to have Adam , He has been a very healthy
little boy, He was born with three small holes in his heart that closed
on there own by the time he was five months old. He also has a low
functioning thyroid, which he takes medication for.
When we left
the hospital on our way home, I stared at him all the way , just trying
to understand why the diagnoses of Down Syndrome is so scary. Why I let
it scare me. He was perfect........If anyone reading this is
expecting a baby with Down syndrome , just know it will be OK, and you
will fall in-love with your baby the moment their in your arms. I
promise.
He was 6 pounds 7 oz's 19 1/2 inches. They kept him in the nursery, because he wasn’t able to keep his body temperature. So they had him under the heater to keep him warm. He was breathing just fine. His heart rate was back to normal, but they did hear some heart murmur's. He had PDA and PFO. After about 12 hours they brought him to me , as I held him my heart grew with so much love for him , he looked into my eyes and I knew God was Great! He had so much hair black, brown eyes. I checked him over and the only thing I found was one line across the palm of his hand's. His eye's were a bit slanted but hey so are mine....So he just looked more like mama to me.
Papa is so proud, of his son. When we left the hospital on our way home, I stared at him all the way , just trying to understand why the diagnoses of Down Syndrome is so scary. Why I let it scare me. He was perfect........
We are blessed to have Adam, He has been a very healthy little boy, He was born with small holes in his heart PDA and PFO that closed on there own by the time he was five months old. He also has a low functioning thyroid, which he takes medication for.
Adam 3 weeks old and his brother Alex 18 months old. The love you will have for your baby is going to amaze you. She/He will make you the proudest mom in the world.
Adam at 2 months
Please remember your baby is just that your baby, and not Down Syndrome. She/He need only to be loved and treated as any other baby. Time will take care of the rest! Having a baby with Down syndrome is not the end of the world, it just makes you see the world in a new way.
So many women..... are having abortions.These baby's are being killed, because of their... INTELLIGENCE. PLEASE GIVE YOUR BABY A CHANCE. Adam A beautiful boy full of life... I was blessed with a beautiful life. He is not a BURDEN! He is a JOY.
Adam is now going on three years old on June 14Th. We have gone through many challenges, But nothing we cannot over come. Well just one Ignorance, but I will teach Adam that all people are different we all have challenges of one kind or another ......I for one CAN"T BAKE!!! burn everything....(LOL)
Adam is now learning to walk, and is taking 3 to 4 steps at a time. He eats very well and uses his spoon well, He Love's to look at his books, He Love's music, He Love's to dance'. He is just starting to get an attitude and boy does did he take after his papa. Stubborn (LOL)
I love seeing him smile makes my heart melt........Looking into his eye's I imagine God looking back at me, with a smile.
We are so blessed my child can do all things with just some extra time He will achieve and I will be the proudest of mommy's out there.
Always cheering him on.....Always!
He will be starting pre-school this year. I can't wait to see him on that bus, just like all the other kid's getting his education.....WAY TO GO ADAM!
Mom will always stand by you.
Adam is 39 months and just started walking YEAH, I am so PROUD! He is so excited too!!!
Written by his mommy adamsmom05
Comments:
PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY..THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!! BLESSINGS!
This story is absolutely beautiful, so well written. Thank you for sharing your story.
Beautiful. Thank you Martina and Gloria for sharing this.
This brought tears to my eyes! Praise God! Your son is so handsome....
Beautiful story, thanks for sharing. Your son is very precious.
Thank you Martina for sharing Adam with us...He is so very special to all of us. I admire you for your strength during the pregnancy and more during his birth. He is such a very handsome boy and I can't wait to meet him
I AM IN TEARS ,OF JOY WHAT A GREAT STORY, MY SON IS NOW 13 AND I CAN REMBER THAT DAY AS WLL, BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. WE ARE BLESSED, MY SON VINCENT IS GOING TO GO TO MIDDLE SCHOOL THIS COMING FALL AND I FEEL JUST THE SAME, WE FIANLY MADE IT . GOD BLESS YOU.
wow great story .your son is so very cute 
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Your son is beautiful. Congrats on him walking! Awesome. I have a four year old sister in law who has Downs. I believe that children with Downs Syndrome are a little piece of heaven on earth.
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