Was I Right?

[CatholicMommy08]

I had a friend up until a few days ago. Let's call her Candace for the sake of making things easily understood. Candace and I met in a group through cafemom for mother's in our city. She would be my first attempt at a friend in some time. I tend to seclude myself. We went out bowling the first time we met and hit it off ( back in September last year). Soon we were hanging out rather often. Well in the beginning I found out that she was into Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD). In other words her husband punishes her (often by spanking) for not doing her wifely duties. I found this odd but chose to accept it. Well, recently she revealed things to me that seemed a bit sick about herself that was more in the direction of BDSM and involved her reaching beyond her marriage for this interaction (not with me). Ok, so she starts getting depressed and I beg and plead with her to go to a Dr. because she is obviously unwell. She is depressed, BiPolar and has Borderline Personality. I am BiPolar and have Borderline but I am under regular care of a therapist and psychiatrist to hold onto my stability. I had begged her to go see someone and she would make appointments and then cancel saying she doesn't want the meds and will take herbals. This last time was the last time and I cut ties for her not keeping her appointment. It was maddening to think each time that maybe this would be the one she'd keep. She has 5 kids to think about. Was I right???? I have a 16 month old child and her instability risked my stability. Kinda like how you can't put an alcoholic and a recovering alcoholic together. I feel guilty for dumping her. I was her most sane friend. All of her other friends are into BDSM or spanking. Please I need support.

[Liz1125]

May. 24, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Honestly, I think sometimes you need to put yourself first. If being her friend was going to mess up all the hard work you have done for yourself then cutting her off may have been a good idea. But maybe not a complete cut off, just a gradual letting go? Sometimes we have to do whats best for us, dont feel guilty for protecting yourself and your child.

[momofkids]

May. 24, 2009 at 10:45 PM

I totally agree with the previous poster.  My DH pretty much hit rock bottom last summer.  He is also Bipolar.  The thing that helped him the most was getting away from all the unstable people in his life.  He had gotten hooked up with some people at work with lots of mental problems.  We also think his mother may be undiagnosed Bipolar.  He stopped hanging around with those people from work, and due to some other circumstances, has cut his mother out of his life.  Now, he is rebuilding himself and doing much better with the Bipolar.

I think you made a great decision.  It was the best thing for your family and for your friend.  Maybe she will be able to see why you did what you did and get help as a result.

[Mommyx2....]

May. 27, 2009 at 12:13 PM

You are a Christian and I trust that you knew what was best for you in the situation.  If you believe that God did not want you to help her at that time then she wasn't ready for help or it needed to come from someone else.  I had never heard of  CDD before. Yikes.  I will pray for this woman as well, sometimes that is all that we can do for them.

God bless