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Heart Broken
- May 26, 2009 at 1:33 PM
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- Comments (2) Total Views (84) Everyone can see this journal post.
The pain of a Broken Heart seems unbearable at times. I remember the feeling as I could physically feel my heart brake. It burned and felt as if he grabbed my heart right out of my chest and stomped on it. Why can't my heart let go of him, it hurts so bad. When he came here it was like he just poured salt in my gaping wound in my heart and it burned so much........ I so wish I could just not love him any more and the pain would go away but it wont. I have been gone from him for almost a year and the pain only seems to get worse. I still miss him and love him after all what he has done when all I want to do is HATE him.
Yeah it hurts so very bad and I can't help but cry over him, its like he took part of my soul when I got with him and I want my soul back. I aways thought he was my soul mate and I don't feel whole. Hay I waited for him while he went over seas while he continued to abuse me verbally on the phone while he was gone. I just stood there by his side and gave him every thing I had in me.
I so just want to numb this pain but there is nothing for me to numb it with. This past weekend when he was here his arm brushed across mine and you know that slight touch felt so good for him and I wanted to grab him and lay in his arms. I didn't grab him I just looked at him a wished he was the man I aways wished of him to be. The loving, caring, RESPECTABLE, I seen only every once in a while.
I want to run away from all of this and wish for every thing to go right in my life for a change. He gave me a hug good buy and kissed my cheek and that just added more salt to my whole in my heart. He is saying all this loving stuff and I keep looking for a change in him wishing he would be the Julean I knew on good days.
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I understand. Remain strong & rant & cry with me ANY time you need to.
- eeyoreplus4
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