Decisions, Decisions

[Stitch_N_Love]

I know that my husband is getting tired of my flip flopping all over the place about what to do and to be honest, so am I. I am impatient. I'll admit it. I want to know the right thing to do and do it now. So here is what I know:

1. I love staying at home and knowing what is going on with my kids, the little ones, the big ones, they don't even know what's going on. We are about to hit summer break and with me home, I don't have to worry about a babysitter or anything like that.

2. I love to sew/craft/create. I love the feeling that comes over me when I finish a project. Even if it's one that I dreaded starting. lol I love to hear how people love me work, but people not buying is a big problem. I have stuff sitting here.

3. I can't just watch kids all day. Let's face it. I am not a clean house keeper, it's bottom on my list: clean house. Plus, I don't think it's right that just because I am home all day, I am to act as every one's maid around here. The kids don't want to play with mommy all the time either. They want to explore and learn on their own too.

4. I need to have some kind of outlet. I battle depression everyday of my life. Even when things are going good, I am still a little depressed. No one, not even my husband who I am very close to, knows everything that goes through my head.  Heck, I don't know everything that goes through my head! I think that I also have anixiety issues too. I keep telling myself that it could be worse. I could be an alcoholic.

5. I do have an addiction to spending money. It's a bad addiction and I need to stop. I think that is the major problem at the moment. I can rationalize any spending that I do. Then when I feel remorse and want to get rid of it, no one wants it. So here I sit deeper in debt.

6. I miss teaching sometimes. Not really very often though. When I first started teaching, I was in a bad marriage and so I threw myself into teaching. Once the marriage was over, I think my teaching passion left. Right now, I could care less if I ever went back to teaching. The pay sucks and there is no praise in teaching. Everyone likes to hear praise! Adults too.

So, this whole week I have been trying to decide what way to take my life and my business.

Do I keep promoting myself and pray that things will pick up? How do I fit it all in? If I create while the big kids are in school only, then not a lot gets done because the little ones are around and can get into some pretty big messes. If I create when the kids are home, I am not part of the family much. If I put the little ones in daycare for a little while, then that defeats the SAH thing.

RIght now, I try my best to do what I can when the little ones let me while everyone is gone and then I also create when others are around but try to take time to be a part of the family. I multitask the best that I can. If I don't get something done, it's just not done. But that is not the way to keep customers! Other's are just as impatient as me.

Right now, these are my options:

1. Just list all my supplies, EVERYTHING and as other stuff comes trickling in, list it too. Then once it's all in and sold. It's over. Sell custom work only with what I have created as my examples and leave it at that. (not really what I want to do, but it might bring in money that I need)

2. Only keep things that I know I will use and sell everything else, even if that means losing the great buys.

3. Downsize what I am doing. Figure out what will sell and just sell that.

I am not looking for anyone to have my answer. The answer has to come from me. Writing it down does help though. Putting it out on the 'net may help someone else who is in the same situation that I am in, and that would make me feel better. To know that I am not alone in my life.....

[okiemama]

May. 28, 2009 at 3:41 PM

Lord no you are not alone girl!!!!! I am in the same boat. I feel the exact same way about everything. We are in such a financial bind that if I don't find a job soon or figure out how to work from home somehow, then we are going to have to file bankruptcy. uuuuuggghhhh!!!! LIFE SUCKS right now!!!

Good luck in whatever you choose to do!!!!!!

[tazzygurl611]

May. 29, 2009 at 4:03 AM

I say downsizing... but im in a boat with you on the addicted to shopping thing. My new obsession-- fabric hording.  Not much of a help in giving you any advice. Just follow your heart and your first instincts.

[Stitch_N_Love]

May. 29, 2009 at 6:44 AM

yeah, see I am a mod on a fabric group! lol

I have decided to photo everything that I have from the craft show and list on Artfire and some on Etsy and ride until after I get back from the family trip to see the inlaws. Give it some time to float in my head.

(Original Poster)