if you are a mother of a special needs child...

[DanaWar]

I have been open about the fact that my son suffered illness that resulted in injury as an infant.  I drove this kid every week for physical therapy and speech after school, he worked hard and we met so many nice people.  Eventually the public school said would we send him to a private school that wove the therapies into a school day, plus featured state of the art equipment. 

So my son was in special needs and now he has completed therapies, got academic honors and moved on.  He went out of that world, onto regular advanced education without looking back.  You would never know a thing about his past to see him.......

but I choose to stay within it and help.  I cannot forget what I learned.    Before my son, I thought special needs people were stupid.  Not now.  I have seen children who cannot speak or walk, but they just worked around it, or worked through it and basically said so what, I can't do this but I am good at that.   They use special equipment or sign language and act like anyone else, have romance, have a job, live independently. 

the flip side of the coin is going in a public life and not expecting them to accomodate you. I spent many years answering where my son went to school, only to see us stigmatized or stereotyped.  But I did it myself once........

 

 

[Metallicamother]

May. 29, 2009 at 11:28 AM

It's such a hard subject to talk about with people who just haven't dealt with special needs kids.  Nick, my 11 year old, is a special needs kid.  He has severe (off the charts) ADHD, dysgraphia and a mild form of Tourette Syndrome.  When you first met him, he looks like everyone else.  Most people don't believe us that he has issues unless they spend a few days with him (after his meds wear off).  I worry about the new system he will be entering into for Middle School.  Each year is a struggle with new teachers.  We tried home schooling and he really isn't disaplined enough and I am just not strict enough to get it done.  We apprecate all that the public school does for us but everyday is scary for us.   Poor kid was asked by his principle and all his teachers to skip the special 5th grade graduation party to protect him.  I know it's the best thing, but it just sucks.  I feel lucky to know you Dana.  Whenever I start to feel defeated by the schools, you manage to lift my spirits... even if you don't know it.  thanks. 

[texmexmom]

May. 29, 2009 at 12:15 PM

I am soo happy we are friends!! you give me strength!! Ethan made the honor roll AGAIN and is on to the 2nd grade!! you and your son have given me hope!! thanks!!  I have done "it" once myself and NOW I TRY to offer encouragment as you have done to me!! Thanks!! you ROCK!

[Jeangenie]

Jun. 4, 2009 at 10:32 AM

You're awesome Dana. I, too, before having Erin was ignorant about special needs.  I never looked down on others who had them (my brother has a child with Autism and my sister's neighbor has Down syndrome), so I did have a slight experience with them but not enough.

I've learned to let other's judgements mean absolutely nothing to me, as I know that they're the ones who are truly missing out. They just lack the understanding and acceptance. So now I try and spread the awareness and acceptance the best I can.

[ShaktiKat]

Jun. 26, 2009 at 9:12 AM

You know, your son's experiences have always given me something to hold on to, because with Bumble a lot of times it feels like we're just grasping at anything.  And still a lot of times, I feel apologetic to those who are obviously uncomfortable with her; or frustrated with the extended family who think it's just her willfullness or our lack of 'proper parenting tactics' (spanking, for example.  *sigh*)  Thanks again for being so open and sharing :)