I'm ready to pull my hair out!!!

[smartgal5275]

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm having such problems with my fiance's ex. He has full custody of his son but she gets visitation on weekends and the holidays on every odd year. Now he got custody because she had gone to prison. While she was gone, the courts gave him his son permanently. Of course she flipped out when she found out. When she got out, she thought he would just hand him over or the courts would give him back because she got out. Well she thought wrong. From the start, she didn't like me. I was called every name in the book, even though she had never met me. I understand she probably thinks of me as a threat. But I know I take good care of her son. So here's the problem: we have rules at our house for my child and his. Same rules for both even though my son is 2 yrs. older. I just want to be fair. We have a bedtime set, no inappropiate games, movies, or music, no cursing, a set meal time, set homework time, chore list and a few other minor ones. Also his son also has some emotional issues and wets the bed. When he goes over there, that all flies out the window. I know it's her house and I can't control what goes on over there, but now it's spilling over to my house. She buys him games and movies to bring home that he is not permitted to watch. She bought him a pocket knife that he was not to have. We told her that we eat dinner @ 5, but she brings home without dinner every Sun. @ 7. Sends him home in dirty clothes that are sometimes too small. I quit sending him over there in any new clothes because we never seem them again. She lies and says he doesn't wet the bed there, but he tells us otherwise. She denies he has any issues. He gets bitten and punched on by his little brother who is only 4. He is not allowed to fight back, he just takes it. He has come home with poison ivy, severe sunburns, bruises, bite marks, scratches, stomach aches, and a few other things. He tells us noone does anything to take care of these problems. And his Grandma is a nurse!!! How hard would it be to put sunblock on or some calamine lotion. How about some pepto for his stomach, tylenol for his headache, band aid for his scratches, or ice for his bumps and bruises. Better yet, how about some dinner for the kid. Maybe I'm just overreacting, but I don't know. I know I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be, but I just think she needs to be more of a mom.  I don't even want to talk about the holidays she always happens to screw up. We can't afford a lawyer to help us and she refuses to listen to us at all. So now we are at a stand still. What now?

[happychick2525]

Dec. 21, 2009 at 10:48 AM

Wow, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. That poor kid, and he tells you all the problems and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it. That has got to be so hard on you and DH. No advice here, I wouldn't know how to deal with that. Take care and just keep doing what you are doing, at least he gets stability when he is at your house.