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Big Fat Fakers
- Jun 2, 2009 at 12:17 PM
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- Comments (54) Total Views (1647) Everyone can see this journal post.
I have always disliked fakers. Most people do, unfortunately, not everyone even recognizes that they are one. Sometimes it seems natural to act a different way when they are with certain people. They may have a character for friends from PTA. A different on for church friends. And still another for their families. Some may not even realize they are doing this. Some go to great lengths to keep their groups of friends separated so that they can continue the act.
It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I entered into the World Wide Web and its social networks that I realized that fake could be taken to a whole new level. Now, I am no spring chicken, so I have seen my share of people - people who have a show face and a home face. I thought I had seen it all, but nothing prepared me for what I would encounter on the Internet.
It never occurred to me that people would go to such great lengths to hide who they really are. It must be exhausting. If someone is going to expend that much energy to keep up a charade, why not just try to change who they are? Then they wouldn't have to fake it all the time.
A lot of the time I can spot a fake upon my first virtual encounter with them. I have a natural ability to 'feel' these kinds of things. I will often stumble upon someone in a random post and follow the link back to their profile and my first impression of them is usually accurate. I just get a vibe off of them. That is not to say I am always right or that I have some sort of superiority complex, thinking I can 'read' everyone I run across. It just happens to be one of my abilities.
When at first I get a negative perception of someone, I usually try to ignore it because I want to give people the benefit of a doubt. I push the she's a fake vibes out of my mind and try to think positive. Unfortunately more often than not, I am proven right. It saddens me, but that is the way it usually happens.
People like to put up a false reality about themselves on social sites such as this. I suppose it makes them feel better to act as though their life is as picture perfect as they wish it were. Then there are those who are so desperate for attention that they create false drama around themselves in order to garner sympathy from others. Either way, it is extremely disheartening to see so much of it going on.
Like I said earlier, it takes a bundle of energy to keep up that kind of facade; energy that would be better put to more positive pursuits. You know, like making your life better, or perhaps spending some time with those less fortunate than yourself. That can put things into perspective right away.
Some people never will look outside themselves, however. They are content to spend your time ducking, weaving and deflecting the attempts of others to get to know the real person inside the persona. What are they so afraid of? They spend their lives only half engaged in reality; missing out on so much of the goodness.
The goodness comes when we open ourselves up and are vulnerable to others. In order to fully engage and enjoy life we have to take those chances. Sometimes we get hurt, but so much more often we find that we aren't so different than everyone else and sharing the pain of our trials helps us all to heal our wounds.
If everyone would do this, then there would be no need for fakes. We all have suffering, fears, foibles and idiosyncrasies. We all screw up sometimes. We do things we aren't proud of. We say things we wish we could take back. Every one of us is fallible. Yes, I believe there are enemies around us that seek to destroy us, but the worst enemy of all lurks deep inside our own souls. It is called pride. It is that pride that keeps us from living the life that we wish we had - the life that we should have. The life that we can have.
© KDV 2009
Proverbs 29:23 (New International Version)
23 A man's pride brings him low,
but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.
Proverbs 21:24 (New International Version)
24 The proud and arrogant man-"Mocker" is his name;
he behaves with overweening pride.
1 John 4:18 (New International Version)
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
John 16:33 (New International Version)
33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Comments:
Maybe your fakers are really men! Ewwwww
Maybe your fakers are really men! Ewwwww
Naw, men only fake what they look like on the Internet. :0)
It does make you wonder doesn't it? Why are people not content with who they are? I really don't understand.
I guess we all have slight changes that we don't realize from person to person. I am going to act different with you than with a stranger. Mainly because they haven't earned my trust.
I just don't get the big fakes and the liars. I can't stand when people lie.
Often it's obvious who they are because they are forceful and adamant about whatever point they're trying to make. Great post!
Excellent post.
i admit, I tend to blend. I don't lie and pretend to be something I'm not, but when in most any group, I can usually fit in somehow. I don't know what it is, exactly, what you could call that, but when with people I can "read" them and give them the parts of me that I know they would feel most comfortable with. Does that make sense? I never thought of myself as fake, though, since the person you get is really me.
This is a good journal, Kimberly. I love your insight.
I do know what you mean. I am talking more about deliberately misleading people into believing you are someone you aren't. I totally don't get that vibe off of you at all.
I will admit that people I know in different arenas of my life see different parts of my personality. I think it is just because some aspects of who and what I am are simply not appropriate to discuss in that forum.
For example, my coworkers very rarely hear about my social life and never about my religion. Almost no one ever (or almost ever) hears about my sex life (or lack of one) - except for my very closest friends. My writing friends don't get discussions on my career.
Why? Because the topics aren't appropriate to the subject at hand. I don't feel that's being disingenuous or fake. After all, I'm still ME and I never pretend to be anything else.
But yes, I suppose you could say I do show different faces to different people.
It takes a lot of time and energy to create an alter identity. I don't know if I will ever truly understand--why? Sure, everyone wants to escape once in a while who we really are, but to carry on a facade, to purposely deceive others is beyond me. I actually found out years back that an on-line friend was a fake--everything about our friendship was based on lies. Sad.
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Awesome journal. I have to say that I struggle with pride constantly. BIGTIME. Great verses.....Thank you!!!!!
- theyareallmine
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