Moved Out

[FLAmber76]

Just a quick update...

I realized I had not been communicating very well lately

As usual, when I get understress, I shut down and block out everyone around me and I realized that I had not been communicating with my online friends...

My baby brother, 24 yrs old, was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. After surgery to remove the infected testicle, they found that the cancer had spread to his abdomen. He is now scheduled to start chemo next Monday. Afterwards he will have more surgery to remove the infected lymph nodes.

My brother is my only family outside of my two girls. I practically raised him and I consider him my first born and only son. This is a devastating thing for me to deal with.

On top of that, Jim and I have not been getting along. A long long story short but he has never been really emotionally there for me. Since the girls were born, our differences have become more and more of an issue and now with my brother's illness, my hurt feelings have taken too much out of me. So Monday, I moved out into a beautiful three bedroom townhome in town. For right now the girls will stay with Jim Monday night thru Thursday while I work in town (I only work Monday thru Thursdays and Jim's oldest daughter lives by him and watches the girls during the day for us on those days). I will pick the girls up Thursday evening after work and meet her Monday morning with them. Eventually my brother may have to move in with me because he was recently laid off from Jim's company (not related to the breakup) and his unemployment is running out (especially since he cant look for work while going through chemo) and he does not qualify for disability because technically he won't be disable for a year (from the social worker at the Cancer Hospital).

Anyway last night was the first time I stayed at the new place without the girls. My brother was kind of enough to stay with me last night. So waking up this morning without my girls was the longest I have ever been without them... and each minute today just keeps adding to that... I get to pick them up tomorrow after work....

[texmexmom]

Jun. 3, 2009 at 3:15 PM

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) I am here if you need to vent/talk!

[lilysmom2607]

Jun. 4, 2009 at 9:29 PM

I am sorry you having such a rough time.  I hope things get better fo you.