Just some thoughts, I was doing some Soul Searching.

[MOMofTwo_99_00]

Just some thoughts, I was doing alot of soul searching:

           Last night as I was sitting in front of my computer. I started doing some Soul Searching. Maybe because im sick. And I have been depressed. Or maybe because I feel alone at this time. Like no one understands what Im going through. But as I was doing this, I did come up with some real questions that I knew I should ask my self. And find out what I really wanted. That way, I would know what it is that I had been missing out on. Are that I was missing all together.

               And here it go's..........

1) I need to find a Friend that live's close to me. Some one I can go out to lunch with, to the movies, to the bar to have a drink. Or just to talk to over a cup of hot coffee. I miss not having a FRIEND. You know. A real friend. Someone who calls to see how your doing. And knows the answer befor she ask. But just wants to see if you will be honest. Some one who cares about how your feeling, And gets upset when you feel down, because she wishes she could help. I have not have a TRUE FRIEND like this, to go out with in a long time.... And man I miss it.

2) All my life, as long as I can remember, I have always done what someone else wanted me to do. Or was always trying to help someone, Take someone some where, do things for others. And even give money when I really dont have much to give. But yet, When we are so down, And have nothing. And are in need of some real HELP no one ever says, LET ME HELP YOU NOW> You always help others. Dont get me wrong. I belive in Karma. So that is why, I have always been so giving of myself. I felt that some day it would come back to me ten fold. And maybe that day will come. I guess I will just have to wait and see. But it hurts to know all I do for others. And it seems Im alone, When I am in need. How dose that work ?

3) Im going to start, Taken ONE day a Month for me. If that means..... I go to get my hair and nails done. Or go to the movies alone. Or go get me a cute outfit. Or what ever. I am going to start doing that As of tomorrow. I think I deserve this. And I know it will help me become more relaxed in the long run.

4) Im going to start, Spending more one on one with each kid. That way my kids will all feel more loved. I plan on spending One day a week with on child for a few hours. Like maybe take one to lunch, One to a park, Something like that. We can talk. And enjoy each others company. And they will feel like they are being spoiled.

5) I also want to start a Date night, With Rob. I dont care if we just stay home. As long as we do it alone. One night , Once a month. Just us. No kids, No family, no friends. Just me and him. That way we can reconnect again. And maybe build a stronger bond. We have one now, But I miss the passion he used to have. I want that back. So thats something we have to work on.

 

Well these are a few, I will add more later. I would be here all night , If I keep going. How do you think I did so far ? I hope im doing ok. I am starting all of these things, So that I want regret nothing later on in life,That way if I get too sick. And cant no longer take the kids some where. Atleast we did have some really great times together. And I want them to know how much I care, And love them. And my family. SO this is Important to me. I also started a Book. Im writing in for the kids. Its going to tell all about me. My kids, Dislikes, Things I have been through, Things I want them to do. Things I hope they will stay   a way from. And Most of all My hopes and dreams. I want them to know I love them more then anything else.

 

Have a great day friends, Patty Mosso

[r_gallegos74]

Jun. 4, 2009 at 12:58 PM

good list.

You already know when you do these things for yourself, you will have more for others too.  :)

[tracy20]

Jun. 4, 2009 at 12:58 PM

omg patty i am also feelign some of your thoughts. Everytime I becoem close to a girlfriend they move or our friendship ends.I want a date night once a month to!When was the last time dan and i went out alone?i dont even remember?!

[heidisgang]

Jun. 4, 2009 at 2:39 PM

You have had some really good thoughts.  You are making a really healthy decision for yourself.  The more you put into yourself, the better you will feel about yourself and the more you will have to give to your kids and husband.

Good luck!

[dumbhunkie]

Jun. 6, 2009 at 9:31 AM

 In the last five years I have tried to learn to do things for just me -and it;'s harder than it sounds--but sooooooooooo worth it --so get the nails done or see that movie -and enjoy that date night --that's what I miss most after more than five years --time with someone special.

              Riki