THINKING ABT MY ANGEL BABIES

[eacemc2]

 WELL ITS 11:00 AT NIGHT, CANT SLEEP JUST SITTING HERE THINKING ABT MY ANGEL BABIES.. I GUESS IM THINKING ABT THEM CUZ I WOULD OF HAD THE BABY  AT THE END OF JULY THIS YR. SOMETIMES I THINK IM GETTING OVER IT, BUT THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BRING IT BACK UP, SOMETIMES I THINK MY ANGELS MAKEING  IT POP IN MY HEAD SO I WONT FORGET ABT THEM, BUT I DONT THINK I WILL EVER FORGET THE PAIN AND HEARTACHE I FELT WHEN I LOST MY TWINS AND MY OTHER BABY, JUST KNOWING THAT I HAVE A EMPTY PLACE IN MY HEART IT HURTS. ITS HARD FOR ME TO TALK ABT IT. I TRY TO FORGET ABT IT SO IT WONT HURT SO MUCH... I WONDER WHAT THEY WERE I THINK MY TWINZ WAS A BOY AND A GIRL, THEN THE LAST BABY I THINK IT WAS A BOY.. I TRY TO PICTURED WHAT THEY WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE, I ALWAYS SAY MY SON WILL BE TOO PRETTY LOL, THEN I THINK OF MY GIRLS WOULD ANOTHER GIRL LOOK LIKE THEM, THERES TIMES I WANT TO JUST CRY, BUT I KNOW ITS NOT GOOD FOR ME... I TELL MYSELF THAT THEY WERENT MEANT TO BE AT THAT TIME IN MY LIFE, I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS, ITS MADE ME A STRONGER PERSON TO A SINCE THEN IT MAKES ME CRY AT THE DROP OF A HAT...  I GUESS I REALLY DONT HAVE THE CLOSER I NEED CUZ THEY DONT KNOW WHY I LOST THEM, ITS THE UNKNOWEN??. BUT I KNOW THERE WITH SOME GOOD PPL THAT R IN HEAVEN, BEING SPOILED LOL.  SO I GUESS I WILL TRY TO GO TO SLEEP NOW...