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"I could not believe there was life inside me and that we are so closely connected"( A Mother's Story)
- Jun 10, 2009 at 11:59 AM
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- Comments (29) Total Views (1389) Everyone can see this journal post.
Nicolas Gabriel.
Those were the names my husband chose for our firstborn which was to come in our lives on Christmas season of 2000.
I am a late bloomer. I got married at 35 to a man nine years younger than I. We were wed on the day of my 35th birthday and two months later I was already conceiving.
My pregnancy was generally fine at least to my belief because I would have no basis for any comparison yet. I would religiously go to my doctor for my monthly checkup or as directed.
When the time has come that the baby's heartbeat was audible enough for us to listen on My! It was a very emotional moment for me and for my husband. I was crying quietly while lying on that little bed inside the doctor's clinic. I could not believe there was life inside me and that we are so closely connected.
My husband showered us both with love and care.He would get up each night to fix me some milk and food to eat.Then he would feel his child through my tummy,kisses him and tells him all his grand plans for him when he grows up.
Few days before my due date, I needed some bed rest so I had to file for an earlier maternity leave at work. My husband and I worked in the same company so, he took care of everything that the company would be requiring on my behalf.
I can still vividly recall that day...I was alone with just a cell phone beside me. Midmorning I felt something warm gushed between my legs. I tried checking on it and got scared because there was blood. I immediately called my husband and few hours later and we were on our way to the hospital.
I was wheeled-in to the labor room around 3:00pm. Gosh! it was the longest hours of my life. Twisting with pain I even begged the nurses to give me something that could lessen the pain but those people they just made me feel even worse they were so apathetic!
Finally the time has come for me to be transferred to the delivery room. I was to give birth the natural way but midway I felt I could not make it.
My doctor was chiding me telling me that I should have opted earlier for a c-section. Since we were already there she said I had no choice but to do it. I was really gasping for my breath while pushing. There were only five people inside the delivery room-two nurses,my ob,an assistant doctor and myself. I did another push,with an assurance from my ob that my baby's crown is already visible.then the assistant doctor helped me by pressing his body hard on my tummy.
Then I heard a very light cry! They were all telling me that it was a boy that was all. I then passed out...it was close to midnight.
I woke up the next day in the room my husband have booked for us.I asked him about the baby he simply said,"still in the nursery."
We never had any suspicion that there could be something unusual with the baby,until we were told by the nurses that some doctors will be coming over to tell us something. still,we were so unsuspecting.The doctors came headed by my ob,and broke the news to us.
"Your baby has Down syndrome."
I was familiar with the condition because I have met people with Ds before,and have had enough readings about the subject matter.
I took a deep sigh and remained firm, while my husband was so lost. He had no idea of what the doctors were talking about.To my surprise he began crying and questioning God.
As an emotional support being extended by the hospital they have arranged for us a meeting with the Down syndrome Association of the philippines,inc.(dsapi)' representative.Almost instantly someone came knocking on our door.
A chinese-looking man with a very bright smile on his face greeted us as my husband went up to let him in. He introduced himself as one of the founder of the association,and he in fact has a daughter with the same condition.
Mr.Tony Pasia, that's his name assured us that everything will be all right.that we have nothing to be worried about our child because we are not alone.There are a lot of families like us who will be willing to help out and support our needs.He then handed us a yellow envelope filled with informative materials about Down syndrome.
For that brief moment we felt some comfort and relief of what we are about to go through by having a special child in our midst. At that point I wanted to already see my special baby.
My husband and I went to the nursery room and as the nurse brought him closer to us by the glass window I could not understand what I was feeling. But I know I had guilty feelings in my heart.
Maternal age has a lot to do with having a Down syndrome baby and I felt so responsible for my baby's misfortune. I never shed at the tears at the hospital but when we got home I cried and cried each time I will look at Nico. Then I got to read their creed-I cried a bucketful it just hit me bull's eye.
My husband and I didn't know where to pick up the pieces but we have to move on. He held on to his Faith.We as Catholics have these nine dawn masses til Christmas dayso my husband completed the novena while I slowly began to let these changes in our lives sink into my system.
We started doing the "to do" in our list. We took nico to a geneticist to secure a pass for his lab test on determining which type would he be classified.The result:trisomy 21.We then consulted a developmental pediatrician on the next best things to do for him. We were referred to a therapy clinic.
At 2mos old Nico had his first physical therapy session.I was so worried the therapists might break all his bones. We felt we were on to the right course but at 4mos Nico was hospitalized due to severe pneumonia. We were caught unaware because there were no display of symptoms at all.
At 6mos we had his heart checked. The doctor found a small hole in his heart,however he assured us that it was the kind that heals as the child grows older.and with God's grace everything has been fine.
Fast forward:
Now that he is turning 9years old, I still feel guilty.He is non-verbal but he can comprehend. He hadn't developed a love for table food yet. He's just milk-fed until now. He still wears diapers but knows how to pee at the johns by command.
His father loves him and pampers him so much.
We will start school again by monday.
Written by his mom preciosacorazon
Tags: down syndrome awareness
Comments:
Thank you, Nico's Mom, for sharing your story about your precious son's birth. I am so glad that you had support from the founder of the Down Syndrome Association group. When I had my son, the hospital had nothing like that. I felt so alone. My son just turned 20 and he is doing great. He brings us so much love and happiness. I pray that God blesses you and your beautiful family.
Thank you for sharing your story. There is nothing your should feel guilty about. May God bless you and your family.
thankyou for sharing your story.
Your story is beautiful. Just from reading it I can feel how much love there is!! Your child is beautiful and just like any other child he has brought love, joy, patience, and hope to your life!! Thank you for sharing your story! You are a great mama!! Love that beautiful little boy!!
You little fella is sooo cute!! Thanks for sharing! My cousin has DS and is such a blessing.
Nico smile has brighten up my day. He is a gift from God and his unconditional love for all speaks louder than any words could. The joy he brings to those around him is a blessing and I know you know that all who personally get to know him will be touch by an angel
Please, please, never feel guilty. You have given life and love and in return you say that he has returned that to you. What a blessing! May God give you the strength and encouragement you need to continue to take care of him. As the mother of a special needs son, I know that sometimes the grief returns as we mourn what our children are missing. I pray that the joy you receive from his life outweighs any guilt and grief you feel.
Nainai, feel blessed that God has given you someone so innocent to love and hold true. He is a beautiful boy and he will keep you young, living through his eyes, you'll see everything as something new to figure out!
God bless you and your family! Much mahal from my family to yours!
He's very cute and very lucky to have you and your DH as parents. HAPPY 9th BIRTHDAY to your son!
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Your son is beautiful .Thank you for sharing your story. Don't feel guilty it is not your fault, don't blame your age many women have children with Down syndrome and I would say 60% are younger. He is a blessing a beautiful blessing don't feel bad. God blessed you. Sweetie.
My Adam is my blessing he will be 4 on Sunday, and I don't feel guilty at all, just very blessed.
Hang in there , God bless you and your family
Martina