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"I could not believe there was life inside me and that we are so closely connected"( A Mother's Story)
- Jun 10, 2009 at 11:59 AM
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- Comments (29) Total Views (1390) Everyone can see this journal post.
Nicolas Gabriel.
Those were the names my husband chose for our firstborn which was to come in our lives on Christmas season of 2000.
I am a late bloomer. I got married at 35 to a man nine years younger than I. We were wed on the day of my 35th birthday and two months later I was already conceiving.
My pregnancy was generally fine at least to my belief because I would have no basis for any comparison yet. I would religiously go to my doctor for my monthly checkup or as directed.
When the time has come that the baby's heartbeat was audible enough for us to listen on My! It was a very emotional moment for me and for my husband. I was crying quietly while lying on that little bed inside the doctor's clinic. I could not believe there was life inside me and that we are so closely connected.
My husband showered us both with love and care.He would get up each night to fix me some milk and food to eat.Then he would feel his child through my tummy,kisses him and tells him all his grand plans for him when he grows up.
Few days before my due date, I needed some bed rest so I had to file for an earlier maternity leave at work. My husband and I worked in the same company so, he took care of everything that the company would be requiring on my behalf.
I can still vividly recall that day...I was alone with just a cell phone beside me. Midmorning I felt something warm gushed between my legs. I tried checking on it and got scared because there was blood. I immediately called my husband and few hours later and we were on our way to the hospital.
I was wheeled-in to the labor room around 3:00pm. Gosh! it was the longest hours of my life. Twisting with pain I even begged the nurses to give me something that could lessen the pain but those people they just made me feel even worse they were so apathetic!
Finally the time has come for me to be transferred to the delivery room. I was to give birth the natural way but midway I felt I could not make it.
My doctor was chiding me telling me that I should have opted earlier for a c-section. Since we were already there she said I had no choice but to do it. I was really gasping for my breath while pushing. There were only five people inside the delivery room-two nurses,my ob,an assistant doctor and myself. I did another push,with an assurance from my ob that my baby's crown is already visible.then the assistant doctor helped me by pressing his body hard on my tummy.
Then I heard a very light cry! They were all telling me that it was a boy that was all. I then passed out...it was close to midnight.
I woke up the next day in the room my husband have booked for us.I asked him about the baby he simply said,"still in the nursery."
We never had any suspicion that there could be something unusual with the baby,until we were told by the nurses that some doctors will be coming over to tell us something. still,we were so unsuspecting.The doctors came headed by my ob,and broke the news to us.
"Your baby has Down syndrome."
I was familiar with the condition because I have met people with Ds before,and have had enough readings about the subject matter.
I took a deep sigh and remained firm, while my husband was so lost. He had no idea of what the doctors were talking about.To my surprise he began crying and questioning God.
As an emotional support being extended by the hospital they have arranged for us a meeting with the Down syndrome Association of the philippines,inc.(dsapi)' representative.Almost instantly someone came knocking on our door.
A chinese-looking man with a very bright smile on his face greeted us as my husband went up to let him in. He introduced himself as one of the founder of the association,and he in fact has a daughter with the same condition.
Mr.Tony Pasia, that's his name assured us that everything will be all right.that we have nothing to be worried about our child because we are not alone.There are a lot of families like us who will be willing to help out and support our needs.He then handed us a yellow envelope filled with informative materials about Down syndrome.
For that brief moment we felt some comfort and relief of what we are about to go through by having a special child in our midst. At that point I wanted to already see my special baby.
My husband and I went to the nursery room and as the nurse brought him closer to us by the glass window I could not understand what I was feeling. But I know I had guilty feelings in my heart.
Maternal age has a lot to do with having a Down syndrome baby and I felt so responsible for my baby's misfortune. I never shed at the tears at the hospital but when we got home I cried and cried each time I will look at Nico. Then I got to read their creed-I cried a bucketful it just hit me bull's eye.
My husband and I didn't know where to pick up the pieces but we have to move on. He held on to his Faith.We as Catholics have these nine dawn masses til Christmas dayso my husband completed the novena while I slowly began to let these changes in our lives sink into my system.
We started doing the "to do" in our list. We took nico to a geneticist to secure a pass for his lab test on determining which type would he be classified.The result:trisomy 21.We then consulted a developmental pediatrician on the next best things to do for him. We were referred to a therapy clinic.
At 2mos old Nico had his first physical therapy session.I was so worried the therapists might break all his bones. We felt we were on to the right course but at 4mos Nico was hospitalized due to severe pneumonia. We were caught unaware because there were no display of symptoms at all.
At 6mos we had his heart checked. The doctor found a small hole in his heart,however he assured us that it was the kind that heals as the child grows older.and with God's grace everything has been fine.
Fast forward:
Now that he is turning 9years old, I still feel guilty.He is non-verbal but he can comprehend. He hadn't developed a love for table food yet. He's just milk-fed until now. He still wears diapers but knows how to pee at the johns by command.
His father loves him and pampers him so much.
We will start school again by monday.
Written by his mom preciosacorazon
Tags: down syndrome awareness
Comments:
He is a handsome lil fella!
GOD GAVE U A GIFT.. WE SOMETIMES DONT UNDER STAND HIS WAYS BUT THAY ARE HIS ..WE CAN NOT ASK " WIE" JUST DEAL WTH IT..
GOD BLESS U AND YOUR FAMILY..
Hi,
I have twins who have special needs. They don't have Down syndrome but are delayed in all areas. They are 11. When people look at out kids they see mistakes, problems, birth defects, etc. I see beautiful kids that make me smile. Perhaps that is their ultimate purpose in life, to make us busy grown ups stop, think, smile and enjoy all the little blessings of life. I remember weeping for joy the first time my girls said momma, because I didn't know if I would hear that. So I wish you lots more little victories, lots more smiles and hugs. And wish for your Nico many, many more smiles and lots of love. Nico is a blessing, just look at how many smiles that adorable little face produced just on here.
Your son is beautiful .Thank you for sharing your story.
HE IS A GIFT FROM GOD YOU ARE BLESSTO HAVE HIM , THINGS WILL GET BETTER , JUST TAKE IT DAY BYE DAY MY SON IS 13 AND HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVERY HAPPEN TO ME ,YOU HAVE A FRIEND FOR LIFE AND A PAL FOR EVER.HE WILL GROW AND DO SO MANY THINGS ,GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR ANGLE.SIS213 AMY
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You should not feel guilty for anything. God made him as he is, and he is beautiful. From the pictures, I can tell he is also very happy! I am blessed by a baby with Down syndrome too. His name is Alex and he just turned 4 years old. He is the light of my life and I thank God every day for him!
I hope Nico has a happy birthday. He is such a cute little guy. I was 25 when I had my son. He has shown me something I never thought I would know and that is unconditional love. Children with down syndrome are such a blessing(as are all children). You must be a wonderful person to have been given such a precious gift.
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Thanks for sharing your story ,its beautiful and your son is adorable.