This night like many others

[spunkypunky]

 I guess I'll begin at the beginning. It all started when I moved here almost four years ago. The agonizing loneliness I sometimes deal with. I do not write to post to whine or to evoke sympathy but to have an outlet and an understanding of why I am here on Cafe mom.

 I moved here to be near my mother's side of the family. This place of slow flows of ideas and politics. I should clarify a bit. I do love the slow country atmosphere. Yet along with country atmosphere comes a lot of bigoted people. Unfortunately. I was living near my father's side of the family (sort of, this is another story) in a bigger more diverse area. Coming back to live here was culture shock.

 I am quite unique in my personal life. I am the mother to two beautiful boys. If anyone has looked at my pictures you'll see that they are of different races (paternally). In this town that gives me my first strike. I actually had my Obama bumper sticker ripped off my car! One woman at the grocery store told me how lovely I was for adopting my son! She couldn't fathom that a black child could belong to a Caucasian woman! *gasp* lol. I set her straight as politely as a I could. Then comes more strikes due to the fact that I wear what I want, listen to what I like, and do what I please.

 I would love to connect with other *special* mom's like me but it's hard to find chicas around here who want to truly be a friend. Most like to drink (not that I don't), give me a good glass of Petite Sirrah and it'll disappear faster than the Road Runner. Beep Beep. Or they surprise you like one couples house my S/O and I were at over the weekend. We had made organic strawberry daiquiri's and we're a little buzzed. We started telling jokes and after about ten minutes of good old belly laughing (which is excellent for the soul) racist jokes started to be dropped like nukes. Whoa...back up. Did this couple think we were going to laugh at the n word being dropped? I think not.

 You might have also heard about the beating death of a Hispanic man in Pa. That happend not far from where I live. I cried and screamed and threw things the night the verdict for those S.O.B.s came in. They got off!!! It's alright to kill a Mexican around here, especially if he's illegal. Screw he's a human. You can start to see maybe why I worry about raising my son's around here.

 Ahh, but to dwell on negativity is not healthy or productive. I got this off my chest and I do feel better. I'll have to make my second journal post on here a big happy smiley one. I hope to find other mom's who'll read this and understand a little bit of what it's like to be me. Peace out.