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REAL mom endorsements.
- Jun 17, 2009 at 11:59 PM
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- Comments (68) Total Views (2068) Everyone can see this journal post.
Do you ever catch yourself chuckling at the "mom endorsements" on commercials or advertisements?
We get a channel called BabyTV that my son loves to watch. I'll admit I was snickering today while watching the "parentorsements" they were playing. The scenes were moms and dads cuddled up on a couch, grinning baby sandwiched in between, talking about the educational scenes on TV. And that's GREAT. We try to watch TV together as much as possible and talk about what's going on too. But on the same hand, can we get real for a second? "I'm so glad that we have this opportunity to learn together as a family!" Uh-huh.
Mine would sound a lot more along the lines of "Dear Noggin, my eternal thanks for making Yo Gabba Gabba. Not only does it allow me a precious 30 minutes of time to do laundry (we use cloth diapers so if not for DJ Lancerock my child might be crapping in a bucket) but it has ensured me that my child will be so warped by weird Japanese puppets who look like dildos that he may actually have something else to talk about in therapy as an adult besides my parenting mishaps."
"Dearest Nickelodeon, I really appreciate you releasing the entire library of Blues Clues onto DVD. It may have drained my bank account, but that time spent sitting on my fat ass on the computer was worth every penny. I'm on CafeMOM, talking about the KID, that counts as attention right?"
"To the sweet, love of my life, inventors of baby gates---keeping the kid safe my patootie. Baby jail rules. I'm proud to announce that my child has had absolutely zero opportunity to try and stick his fingers in the dogs butt since purchasing your product."
THESE are the kinds of things we should really all get to see on TV. Do you have any REAL mom endorsements?
Tags: real mom endorsements, hey nobody's perfect, i guess keeping my kids fingers out of a dog anus technically is a safety issue
Comments:
Thank you to the Makers of Hot Wheels:
Without you I would have never known how painful a blunt metal object can be when it is stepped on.
Also, without your cars, millions of cars, but most of them are the same cars with different paint jobs, I might have a tidier house.
Yet, without your cars, I wouldn't have had a moment of quiet sanity. So Thank you for helping my son discover an obsession. An obsession that has your cars running up and down all of my hallways. An obsession other than:
"WHATCHYA DOIN MOMMA!!!, WHATCHYA DOIN!!!!!!!!!"
That was great...I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! Im glad to know I'm not the only one that feels the same about "constructive" television time... and in my "real world" we never get to sit on the couch as a family. I work during the day, my husband the evening... The mom endorsements are a bit out of touch with reality to us!
Dear Target-
Thank you for finally coming out with a line of Yo Gabba Gabba toys AFTER i spent two months making my daughter each character by hand out of felt because no such product existed to allow her to tote her favorite creepy blugy, flowery, long armed, phalice-like friends around town.
had dancey dance brobee appeared two months earlier, you would have saved me one thousand hours of sewing.
p.s. my toys are better anyway.
I also need to throw a shoutout to hot wheels...... Thanks for giving my grandson HOURS of play with something other than his " ting-ting".
I knew my grandson was all man when it was either the cars or the penis :)
Klenz I bet your toys are better! Let me know if you'd ever be interested in making some Jacks Big Music Show toys...I've given up hope that they will ever exist. I've also given up hope on the vision of becoming a sewing goddess.
To the makers of the toilet lock,
BLESS YOU! I never knew the horror of having to stick my hand in the toilet to retrieve a toy that been tossed in it to see if it would float until I had my children. I never knew that the sound of a flushing toilet would cause me to run panicking into the bathroom to make sure another pair of undies hadn't been tossed in until I had children. Now I have children and they have taught me that I NEED toilet locks from potty training until they are about five. I am so grateful that some other parent designed a lock for the toilet so that I didn't have to keep locking the bathroom door & praying that I could get it unlocked again before someone had an accident.
The the makers of PEZ -
THank you for FINALLY making PEZ in mini-rolls. THey are just right for the kids the have as a small reward. And pulling 50 of them in a bag is great, too. Not having to buy EVERY PEZ dispenser the store has is a great relief. Now...if you could make the packages easier to open, so every single PEZZ doesn't fall on the floor even when mommy opens it, we'd appreciate it.
The to writers of CARS -
Thank you for including the phrase "happier than a tornado in a trailer park", it is now not only my kids favorite saying, but also my husbands...
And finally...
To the writer and producers of spongebob -
THank you ever so much for making that show. I never realized how rarely my children talk about their bodily functionsuntil thediscovered that show. And now, I hear about EVERY little thing their bodies do, mainly the ones you don't want them shouting in public. Thank you Spongebob for letting my kids know that it's okay to tell strangers about how they farted, or forgot their underwear, or they aren't wearing any pants...even though they are...
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Thank you makers of the ds. Without that I would never get shopping done. He plays happily in the basket with the tp and chicken. What did Mom do in the 80's? I never have to interact with the kids again!