I only have a 10 % chance of survival...

[Kajenloca]

Actually, those numbers are being too optimistic. I know, deep down, that the risks are much greater; my chances of survival are probably less than 5 %. Who am I kidding?-the likelihood of me walking away unscathed is almost non-existent. Those are the cold, hard facts.

And, yet, I must go on. I must throw myself into a path of danger; knowing the probable outcome is not good. Realizing that my health and well being are at stake...I will go forth with my fate.

You see, I am hungry-and thirsty. While I could just turn to my beloved-chocolate-and eat without the need of any cooking or eating, drinking paraphernalia, I was hoping for a little healthier option to start my morning. If I am able to walk away, a breath still escaping my lips, I will indeed lovingly hold my sweet very soon...

I am about to open my kitchen cupboards. The cupboards that have been half-hazardly stacked, precariously teetering on the edge of destruction by young hands. Ironically, these same children have been tested "gifted" by the school system; and, yet, they can not seem to figure out that the small bowls and cups go inside the big bowls and cups, not vice versa. And if something is square then it is best to pair that item with something that is square, not circular. I swear I did these same activities with them as babies with their shape sorters and cup stackers! They passed with flying colors way back when...

I realize that it would just be easier to put the dishes away myself, but I am trying to train my children to be responsible; a positive addition to society. So, Cupboard Organization 101 continues...Sigh. My husband (with a straight face) suggested that I simply trace the shape of each item in its proper placement to help them in this endeavor. I will let you imagine what my response to this helpful suggestion was.

Well, my friends. It is time. Off I go in flame resistant pjs (you never know; weirder things have happened...), bubble wrap, bicycle helmet, goggles-am I forgetting something?

May the force be with me...

TIMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answers to frequently asked questions about my journals:

Yes, my stories are all true; just a hint of creative liberty taken on occasion. I do not change names to protect the innocent because there are no innocent in my household. (Just kidding...) 

Yes, I am a writer; that is my livlihood and my passion. Though this CafeMom gig isn't a paying venue--what is up with that? If you love my writing maybe you could make a suggestion to the powers at large to put me on the pay roll, start a petition or perhaps hold a protest demonstration threatening to boycott until I am paid my dues! ;)

Yes, I am an author. I have a book for mothers already on the market, "A Mother's Journey: Through Laughter and Tears" with several other great literary writings in the works. If you enjoy my journals you will love my book! Check out my homepage for more information. :)

Yes, I truly own fuzzy, blue pjs covered in multi-covered cats.

No, I wouldn’t trade one of my children most days  for a piece of chocolate depending on what kind of chocolate it was. 

I love hearing from all my fans! As much as my writing makes you smile, laugh or touches your heart, you sharing with me that it has done that makes my day. I love to know that I am not the only one in this crazy little thing called motherhood...:)

Hope your day is extra blessed!

Kim

 

 

(Thanks, Linda!)lol

 

[kennagurls]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 11:05 AM

I heart you too kim ! You are so funny , right on , and talented :) I am so ok with the boycitt until you are on the pay roll !!

[koalagirl]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 11:38 AM

May the Force be With You :0)

[Lb128f]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Good Luck!!

[theyareallmine]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 12:06 PM

I didn't know you already have a book out!!  Gotta try to get my hands on one as soon as I can!!!

Oh, and if you decide to write a teacher's manual for Cupboard Organization 101...I'd buy it. My teaching technique is not working so hot!

[beanielips]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 2:54 PM

LOL! I just had that happen in my kitchen as well.  Ugh... really, how hard is this?  The dishes go in the same cupboard that you took it from when you wanted to eat.  The same goes for loading the dishwasher... when, oh, when my precious child did you ever take a full size plate from the top?  What made you think you would be able to shut the dishwasher with it there??

[Momtocccd]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 5:45 PM

I have learned open the cupboard while standing behind the door. Or while wearing protective gear.

Love your posts!!!

[Amearia]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 7:15 PM

Thank you so much for inviting me to your brilliant writings once again, I do appreciate that very much. You are a great writer!!, and they need to get you on the payroll asap, I'll start the rally to boycott.

[shell81]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 7:21 PM

Love it. Good luck!

[burkemom]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 8:00 PM

Thank you for making me laugh!

[GPSGKR]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 8:49 PM

XO XO XO...love it!!

And yes I know all of those pains of raising children....Don't worry they will grow up responsible...Ya gotta have Faith!!!

XO

~Pam