How to be a toddler

[JrsMommy07]

HI all you little ones who are about to be toddlers...my name is Joe Jr I am 2 1/2 I want to tell you how to be a toddler (but my moms helping type  of course)

First Learn the word NO.. this is very important word and you must use it often and ignore it even more often.

Another important thing if you want to be a toddler is to eat ONLY goldfish crackers.. If any thing touches your plate that is NOT a goldfish cracker immediatley dub it yucky and throw it on the floor. ::BONUS::   Do it in public and then loudly shout I WANT FISHY CRACKERS, until the whole place is staring..

Something else thats good to do is to develop a l facsiantion with your butt.. Stick your hand in it otfen and loucly declare to anyone who will listen that you have a butt ::BONUS:: Do  it right you pooped then touch the wall .. mommy will LOVE THIS!

 Another tip.. learn to use the potty but refuse to poop in it... Then go poop for a few days and just when mommy thinks youve got it down and take you out in public in your undewear in public poop down your legs ::BONUS:: After doing it make sure you annouce it to everyone in the store

Its also fun to put things in the potty.. mommys keys, daddys keys, the doggys toy... then make mommy and daddy go fishing for them ::BONUS:: Try putting mommys cell phone in there... thats funny

Also you must know one of the biggest rules: ITS MINE! Everything is yours.. if you have it its YOURS.. If you just put it down and someone else take it it is YOURS.. If you like it or want it it YOURS... If you KNOW YOUR  NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT IT IS YOURS! ::Bonus:: When in the store grab something off the shelf.. when mom or dad tries to take it away LOUDLY DECLARE:

ITS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! for the whole store to hear...

Waking up early is good too.. about 5 or 6 is best... make sure to go into mom and dads room and jump on the bed letting them you know you are up ::BONUS:: lay down next to mommy and scoot as clsoe as you can giving her about 5 inches of room on the bed...

Dumping tosy out is fun.. play with them for about 5 seconds then move on to next batch.. dont pick them up ::BONUS:: take some toys cars and hide them where mom or dad will step on them

but the most important thing about being a toddler is to learn the words I love you.. and how to reach out your arms for a hug.. this will get you out of trouble many times... BONUS:: Kisses and puppy dog eyes are good too...

'

 Oh also watch this .. it will cover anything i may have forgotten:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lb128f]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 7:51 PM

LOL!!! Funny! But, true..huh? Oh my...I'm glad I have a teen! Enjoy though...it goes by so fast!